High achievers tend to be very self-critical. The ability to analyze your own performance and re-tool as needed for better outcomes is valuable, of course. Yet there is a point of diminishing returns when you are simply putting yourself into a mental grist mill of self-criticism. That isn’t the best use of your energy. Here are a few ways to redirect your thoughts.
- Realize that whatever the issue is, it is very likely more negative in your own mind than in anyone else’s. The rest of the world spends far less time thinking about your performance than you do — probably because they’re thinking about their own.
- Spend less time thinking about what you didn’t do well and more time thinking about what you did masterfully. It is useful to look at things objectively, including less-than-stellar outcomes, but beyond a certain point of self-critique it makes more sense to think about what you have done well and figure out how to replicate that success.
- Understand that time is your friend. With time, you can gather data or simply let events unfold. Maybe you will hear other points of view about your work that are less critical and more balanced than yours. Maybe, with a little more time, your project will gel and be terrific. Be ambivalent about the future when it comes to judging yourself. You simply don’t know what is going to happen.
The most important advice I have for getting out of a mental grist mill is to listen to others. When your boss, colleague, employee, or client gives you a pat on the back, embrace it. Turn off your self-criticism for a few seconds. Learn from that moment. Remember what steps got you to this successful point. Enjoy the process and repeat it whenever you have the opportunity.
