Melinda Motivates

How Not to Hate New Stuff

2012-01-30T16:58:00.000-08:00

I’m certain there are people who get absolutely giddy when presented with a new technological challenge. I’m not one of them.

Last week I took on a slew of technology challenges, including a new and NOT intuitive database (are they ever intuitive?), a new iPod, a new phone, and new productivity software. There were other hurdles, too, but to list any more would just be whining.

As a result of my hellish week, I had an insight that might be useful to you. Here it is: new stuff brings with it six stages of emotion. We tell ourselves specific stories at each stage. Here are mine.

Stage 1: Fear. “I just don’t feel like dealing with this today. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Of course, I reached the point where I had to deal with it, afraid or not.

Stage 2: Frustration. “I hate this thing. I’m never going to learn it. What was I thinking?” Pouting and swearing ensue.

Stage 3: Resignation. “OK, you’ve got to get hold of this. You have to learn this stuff, so you might as well stop delaying, complaining, and stomping around. Trudge on.” At this point, most of the negative emotion gave up and moved out. It’s here that I was able to start learning, because I had gotten out of my own way.

Stage 4: Mild interest. “Oh, hey, look! I did it! I figured out how to do that thing I couldn’t figure out yesterday. Cool!” Now, I was getting somewhere, picking up speed, learning more, learning faster. A few small successes gave me the mental energy to keep going, to try to learn one more new thing.

Stage 5: Curiosity. “Hmmm. I wonder if I can do this.” That’s where I am this week, feeling just confident enough to poke around and see what I can do with these new technological wonders.

Stage 6: Confidence. I have no idea what thoughts fill this stage, because I'm not there yet. But I can feel myself reaching it, little by little.

The trick, I think, is to recognize the stage you’re in as you’re moving through it. If you know you’re in a certain stage, you know there’s another stage coming right after it. Just keep pressing forward, secure in the knowledge that learning is a process, that the unknown becomes the known, that new eventually becomes old. Ultimately, you will experience that sense of satisfaction that comes from meeting --_- and maybe even mastering -- a new challenge.

Like my business card says, You can do this.

Balance vs. Alignment in Leadership Teams

2012-01-09T16:03:00.000-08:00

Balance is good in ballet and ice skating. But in leadership teams, I think alignment is the more useful goal.

It is understandable to think in terms of balancing leadership teams so one person’s strengths mitigate another’s weaknesses -- perhaps even your own. The result is often a mixed brew of personalities with varying levels of communication skills and behavioral styles. This can be confusing for team members. A useful alternative is alignment, where leaders share values, demonstrate similar behaviors and communicate the same messages.

Some leadership teams are pretty good at creating aspirational statements about how they want their organizations to operate. Living out those statements is where the need for an alignment of communication skills and behavioral styles rests.

For example, let’s say that respect and dignity for everyone at your firm is a core value. If you have leaders who do not understand specifically how respect and dignity are communicated, and what that behavior looks like, it is all too easy for them to misinterpret. Things get even stickier if members of your leadership team simply disagree with the group’s decision to make respect and dignity party of the firm’s culture and simply choose to ignore it. The result: the entire leadership team, and perhaps the organization itself, loses credibility.

Here are a few ways to align leaders:

Decide specifically what communication skills and behavioral styles your leaders need to exhibit. Get them help if they need it. Make their communication and behavior a very important part of their continuing success, including evaluations, salary increases, and opportunities to advance.
Have more fierce conversations at the leadership level. Leaders need to participate actively Inside the boardroom, sharing their thoughts without fear of retaliation and judgment. Read Susan Scott’s outstanding book, Fierce Conversations, to learn more.
When the leadership team reaches a decision, present a united front. Every participant needs to send the same message with the same information.
When a member of your leadership team consistently demonstrates that he is not aligned with the values or cannot demonstrate them effectively, act decisively. Do not waste time. Get him out of the leadership position, or out of your organization entirely. Whatever value he adds technically cannot begin to equal the damage he does to your organization’s culture.
Finally, hire and interview more intuitively. When you are filling a leadership position, listen to your instincts closely. Your gut knows whether a candidate either already possesses the communication and behavioral skills you want, or is capable of learning them. Listen to your gut. Most people who reach the interview level will have the requisite education and experience. Spend more time and effort with candidates determining how they solve problems, how they work in teams, and how well they tell their stories. These things will help you know who they really are. And as Maya Angelou so wisely said, “When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.”

Business is becoming more complex. It’s also more stressful than ever. You feel the pressure, and so do your employees. Consistent communication and behavior at the leadership level will lighten everyone’s burden.

Collective Wisdom for the Season

2011-12-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

In his excellent series on the collective wisdom of senior citizens, New York Times columnist David Brooks has, perhaps unwittingly, offered some useful ideas for surviving and thriving during the holidays. The ideas come from a series he is writing called Life Reports, in which he asks people over 70 years old to send him their recollections. Brooks writes that the happiest and best-adjusted participants in his Life Reports project had some things in common. For one, they all had a fairly specific set of responses to bad occurrences in their lives: forget it, forgive it, or be grateful for it.

This is excellent advice for coping with our current time of year. Along the range of truly bad events, the holidays are small potatoes for most of us. Many people are joyful creatures throughout the season, happily humming carols, baking cookies, and tossing tinsel. Then there’s the rest of us for whom the season is the perfect opportunity to be irritated, grouchy, and Grinchy. Whether it’s crowded shopping malls, uncivilized drivers, or Crazy Aunt Hattie spouting her political views at dinner, Brooks’ collective wisdom of the seniors is valuable for crafting a suitable response.

In forgiving, forgetting, or being grateful, the words we use to talk to ourselves are crucial. For instance:

When somebody whips into a much-coveted parking space ahead of you, rather than making the internationally recognized gesture, say this to yourself: “Let that guy have the spot. I didn’t need it, anyway. I’ll park farther down and get some exercise.”

For the person who jostles you at the crowded shopping mall and then stares at you accusingly, just smile and say “Excuse me.” Was it you who bumped him? No. Does it matter? Not a bit. Be the first one to be civilized in an uncivilized world, and your day will go better.

And when Crazy Aunt Hattie spouts her latest political viewpoint, just be grateful she isn’t your spouse or your mother. Two more things to be thankful for: she’ll be leaving right after dinner, and she doesn’t actually hold a political office. Then tell yourself how beautifully quiet your home will be...eventually.

The words we say to ourselves drive our responses to situations big and small. The holidays are a great time to practice telling ourselves useful things, and they’re an ideal time to forgive, forget, and be grateful.

Happy holidays to every one of us.

Getting Unstuck

2011-11-21T07:20:00.000-08:00

Lately I’ve had many conversations with clients and friends on a variety of subjects. Although the conversations differ in detail, nearly all of them carry a thread of similarity: people are stuck. Maybe it’s a job or a relationship or a pattern of behavior, but they’re all stuck. They’re frustrated, tired, and wondering how to get out of the quagmire.

When you’re stuck in something, five steps can get you moving forward.

Have a serious talk with yourself. Recognize the reality of your situation. You’re in a crummy job. You’re 30 pounds too heavy. Your debt load is scary. Don’t try to paint a pretty face on whatever’s got you stuck. Look at it square in the face without denial, without self-pity, with as little emotion as you can.
Get out of the “if only” mentality. “If only my boss would give me a raise.” “If only I could drop this weight.” “If only my credit card bills were lower.” This kind of self-talk takes the focus off of the only person who can begin to change your situation: you.
Light a fire under yourself. Stop waiting for Life or God or the Universe to change things for you. Start doing. Decide what you can do to change your situation today. What one small action can you take that will begin to improve things? It doesn’t have to be huge. You can dig out your resume, maybe edit it a bit. You can put down that donut and go for a walk. Or leave the department store before you put something else on your credit card. Tomorrow, you can do one more thing. And the next day, another. Pretty soon you’ve added a whole roster of useful behaviors to your daily life.
Do something good for someone else. Whether it’s a donation to your favorite charity, serving food at the homeless shelter, or other random acts of kindness, do something that reminds you how lucky you are to have the problems you have.
Find something to be happy about every day. Whether it’s a baby’s laughter, a dog’s wet snout, or the incredible blue of the sky, notice it. Drink it in. Take that moment and savor it. Once you notice one thing during the day, you’ll probably find others. These small things are what make life happy.

No doubt about it: we’re living in difficult times. I don’t know a single person who truly has it all figured out. Life is hard, and it’s easy to get stuck. But the most stable, happy, and resilient people I know are those who are doing these five things regularly. Give them a try. You have nothing to lose, except perhaps a quagmire or two.

Wishing my American readers a very happy Thanksgiving.

The Apple of Your Client’s Eye

2011-09-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

Recently I purchased my first Apple computer. It’s rapidly becoming my best inanimate companion. I expected that, because Apple is renowned for making top-quality products and they have a loyal and vocal consumer base, some of whom are my friends.

What I didn’t expect was this: when I wrote about my purchase on Facebook, people were so excited that they commented on my post at some length, and more than one friend called to congratulate me.

That got me thinking. How many people post on Facebook that they have just signed on with the Best Firm Ever? How often do people call to congratulate one another on their choice of lawyer, CPA, or consultant? Rarely. Probably never.

The important question, then, is what are we doing to become the Apple among our competitors? A few thoughts:

Price to value, not to cost. Apple buyers are confident that they are buying the market leader in quality, design, and innovation. They know before they walk into the store or click “buy” on the website that they’re paying top dollar. Apple does nothing in their advertising and marketing to disabuse consumers of that notion. Professional knowledge workers, on the other hand, generally can’t tell buyers the price of their services until after the fact. They often discount their prices before the buyer ever begins to negotiate. Why? (For more in pricing to value, visit the visionaries at VeraSage Institute, www.verasage.com).

Do what you promise. Along with innovation, design, and quality of product, Apple promises great service after the sale. They deliver. Team members are knowledgeable, helpful, and polite. My services were completed exactly when I was told they would be. Apple was always there when I needed help. In contrast, clients of professional knowledge workers complain regularly that their service providers charge high rates for inexperienced people and fail to do something as simple as return phone calls promptly.

Make it easy to buy your services. Walk into an Apple store and you will see product samples beautifully displayed, ready to be test-driven. Sales people know every product inside and out. In the rare instance that they don’t, they have immediate access to a more experienced sales team member. Many clients (and perhaps employees) of professional knowledge firms don’t even know what services their firms provide. Listing your services on your website is not enough. Be sure all of your team members are educated about every service so they can discuss them with clients. In-depth knowledge is not crucial, but certainly the ability to introduce a client to another professional in the firm is vital to growth.

Operate as a team. If there was competitiveness among Apple employees, I did not notice it, and I worked with several in the process of making my purchase. All team members had ready access to my information, which was entered into their database as I stood there. Every team member knew the history of my purchase and the service received to date. Equally important, they were openly helpful, friendly, and courteous -- not just to me, but to each other. They genuinely seemed happy to be working with each other and with Apple.

Set up your customers for their next purchase from you. The only way to do this is by following the advice above. Nobody at Apple suggested that I buy an iPad, but there is no question that there’s one in my future. Why? Because Apple is Apple, and they do all the things noted here as a matter of course. So it’s perfectly logical that it’s a matter of when, not if, I buy a second product.

Invest in thinking about the future, not just reacting to the present. Apple is the market leader in innovation and creativity because they spend time, money, and intellectual effort on it. Step away from your billable hour mindset and study your firm. Are your work processes working? Is your firm creating value for clients? Are you building long-term relationships, internally and externally? Are you preparing for tomorrow’s challenges and opportunities? You can bet Apple is.

How to Escape a Mental Grist Mill

2011-08-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

High achievers tend to be very self-critical. The ability to analyze your own performance and re-tool as needed for better outcomes is valuable, of course. Yet there is a point of diminishing returns when you are simply putting yourself into a mental grist mill of self-criticism. That isn’t the best use of your energy. Here are a few ways to redirect your thoughts.

Realize that whatever the issue is, it is very likely more negative in your own mind than in anyone else’s. The rest of the world spends far less time thinking about your performance than you do — probably because they’re thinking about their own.
Spend less time thinking about what you didn’t do well and more time thinking about what you did masterfully. It is useful to look at things objectively, including less-than-stellar outcomes, but beyond a certain point of self-critique it makes more sense to think about what you have done well and figure out how to replicate that success.
Understand that time is your friend. With time, you can gather data or simply let events unfold. Maybe you will hear other points of view about your work that are less critical and more balanced than yours. Maybe, with a little more time, your project will gel and be terrific. Be ambivalent about the future when it comes to judging yourself. You simply don’t know what is going to happen.

The most important advice I have for getting out of a mental grist mill is to listen to others. When your boss, colleague, employee, or client gives you a pat on the back, embrace it. Turn off your self-criticism for a few seconds. Learn from that moment. Remember what steps got you to this successful point. Enjoy the process and repeat it whenever you have the opportunity.

Bliss Suckers

2011-07-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

The title words were used by a friend of mine in describing a former employer. She said something like this: “That woman just sucks the bliss out of every happy moment. Doesn’t matter what it is. She has a way of seeing the negative in everything – and never fails to express it.”

It’s no surprise my friend moved on to happier pastures. Who wants to be around somebody like that?

Here are the signs that you may be in the presence of a Bliss Sucker:

You ask them how they’re doing and are afraid they’ll answer
You find yourself going down a different hallway or hiding in the first available cubicle when you see them coming
You feel your energy drain into your feet when you have to spend any time around them

The most important thing to know about Bliss Suckers is that there is nothing you can do to change them. Nobody ever changes anyone else’s behavior (except possibly through short-term coercion). Real behavioral change always comes from within. Bliss Suckers are likely to keep doing what they do, because they’re benefitting from their behavior somehow. Could it be they are happy only when those around them absorb and spread their negativity?

Avoid these people when you can. When you can’t, express your own optimism as strongly as you know how, and refuse to let them steal your happiness. Then quickly go and find someone who can appreciate and share your upbeat view of things. It’s the only antidote I know of to Bliss Suckers. If you have other ideas, you are welcome to share them here.

A Whiff of Change

2011-07-14T15:16:00.000-07:00

When you think about it, change is a bit like air: it’s everywhere, all the time, and sometimes it smells better than others. Although we often hear about managing change, that notion strikes me as unproductive.

The practical approach is to think about change in terms of how we respond to it, not how we manage it. This is more than a semantic difference.

Managing something implies we have a measure of control over it, which is not always possible. Economic downturns. Budget cuts. Business closures. It is rare for us to be in a position to control changes like these.

Responding, on the other hand, means intentionally choosing the words we use when thinking or talking about change. Words can be tools or weapons. What we say, both to ourselves and to others, is entirely our choice.

So when change comes your way (and it will), try to find words that offer a productive perspective. For example:

· We can do this.
· Who knows? Maybe there’s an opportunity here.
· We were smart and capable before this change, and we’re still smart and capable.

These are not just feel-good sentiments. They are powerful ways of constructing private thoughts and public conversations. In the face of change, well-chosen words can create a better outcome than we ever thought possible.

The Generations Speak

2011-06-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

Last week I had the opportunity to facilitate a panel discussion on intergenerational communication. The panel was created by TAGLaw and TIAG, two related membership associations for law firms and CPA firms. The panel consisted of one member from each of the three dominant generations working today: Boomers, Gen X-ers, and Millennials.

Thanks to the panelists for an enlightening discussion: Norman Posner, CPA, managing partner of Samet CPAs in Massachusetts; Brigid Heid, a partner in Carlile Patchen & Murphy law firm in Ohio; and Chuck Price, an associate with Haskell Slaughter law firm in Alabama. Each of them represented their respective generations with candor, clarity, and humor. Following are three suggestions that bubbled up from the conversation.

Relax. Members of all generations can reduce conflict and increase productivity just by taking a breath. Instead of reacting to a situation, respond to it. When you do not feel understood by a member of another generation or do not understand them, unclench your jaw and open your mind. As with all conflict, the answer to the problem generally lies somewhere in the middle of two reactions. So bend a little, breathe a lot, and ask questions before making declarative statements about how ridiculous the old people/young people are.

Accept. Millennials are changing the way the business world operates — for the better, in many ways. The wisdom, judgment, and experience of Boomers and Gen X-ers, when combined with the creativity and confidence of these new workers, can be a powerful force for productivity and progress.

Connect. If you want a more productive workplace with less inter-generational angst, initiate a connection with someone from a different generation. Seek out a mentor from a different generation. Spend time with people who don’t look like you, talk like you, or think like you. Ask questions. Listen. That’s how you learn the strengths of every individual and connect with them authentically. When you connect with individuals, you naturally remove whatever labels you may have been applying, generational or otherwise. Removing labels liberates everyone involved, reducing conflict, increasing productivity, and contributing to organizational happiness.

Relax, accept, and connect. The panelists really got it right on this. Sounds like good advice for life outside of work, too.

You First

2011-05-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

A member of a leadership team told me something that sparked an insight. We were talking about the lack of discourse among the senior team members during meetings. Although the leader of the organization asked for and genuinely welcomed feedback and discussion, her team generally remained mute.

When I asked my colleague why, he said, “Well, I am reluctant to respond because I don’t trust everyone else at the table not to disparage me after the meeting. I don’t trust that they won’t talk about me or write nasty emails about something I said.”

I hear this frequently, and it’s a shame. I doubt it surprises any of you, either. But here is the good part that led to insight. I followed up his commentary with this question: “Has anyone actually ever disparaged you after you said something in those meetings, as far as you know?” He paused for quite a while and said, “No, but I’ve seen it happen to others. I guess I’m just afraid it will happen to me.”

That’s fear. Fear of what hasn’t happened, except to someone else. The only productive response is to feel the fear and do it anyway.

If members of a team are ever going to trust each other, one brave person in addition to the group leader has to take the initial step. Of course, leaders need to reiterate the need for confidentiality. Then, one courageous soul has to speak his mind and ask the group to keep the conversation where it belongs – in the confines of that meeting and nowhere else.

Everyone has to agree to and maintain this standard, or they really shouldn’t be there in the first place. Trust is built through shared experience. The more people participate in productive meetings that are treated confidentially, the more the participants will trust each other. But somebody has to get the ball rolling.

So go ahead. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You might be very pleasantly surprised at the results.

Think Again

2011-04-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Thoughtfulness may be the most valuable trait for any working person. While I wish I had learned that oh-so-many years ago, it’s a fairly recent insight. Perhaps like some of you, it remains a challenge.

First, definitions of “thoughtfulness” from the Oxford American Dictionary:

1. Engaged in or given to meditation.

2. Giving signs of serious thought.

3. Considerate; not haphazard or unfeeling.

Each definition is slightly different from the other, yet all are related. They all reflect a certain deliberateness of communication style, even when the communication is utterly internal. This deliberateness has grown in importance as our world has begun to move ever faster, with a concurrent decrease in kindness, both toward ourselves and each other.

How many times have you thought something like this: “Man, I am such a loser. I didn’t get everything done I was supposed to do today, and now that time is gone. Loser, loser, loser.” You can fill in your own personal reasons for feeling this way. The bottom line: once you label yourself something negative, you have diminished yourself. What a pity. What a waste.

How often have you behaved poorly toward a co-worker, client, or vendor because you haven’t thought through the consequences and implications of your behavior before doing it? This is precisely how most office (and maybe personal) misunderstandings begin. We don’t take the time to consider an alternative to the poor behavior we’re about to display. We diminish ourselves and, in this instance, others as well.

Lack of thoughtfulness is bad for business. Although we are moving at the speed of light these days, it makes sense to take a moment, to take a breath, to stop and think.

And then, perhaps, think again.

Closing the Distance in Three Simple Steps

2011-03-28T15:52:00.000-07:00

Everyone has trouble with someone at work. Even you. Maybe it’s a less experienced team member. Maybe it’s a peer. Maybe it’s your boss. Whoever it is, you feel a distance, a wariness setting in toward this Other. Things used to be alright, but for whatever reason, they aren’t anymore. You don’t like the situation.

You are smart not to like it, and I hope you want to change it. Because whether a direct report, peer, or boss, it is in your best interests to regain a cordial working relationship. The Other affects your productivity and happiness. In some cases, the Other may also affect your monetary success and longevity in the organization.

Assuming you want the relationship to improve, it is vital to start with this understanding: nothing at all will change unless you make the first move. You are the only person you can control in the relationship. You have to initiate. Once you decide to do so, here are three essential steps to close the distance between you and the Other.

First, don’t make a big deal about it. Just approach the Other casually. Say hi. Make eye contact. That’s enough for one interaction.
After that, get bolder. Engage the Other in a conversation. It can be about sports, work, or plans for the weekend. Keep it simple and short, then go about your business.
Finally, take a deep breath. Ask the Other out for lunch or coffee. Don’t have an agenda. Just go. Listen, chat, laugh when you can. Get to know the Other better or differently than you have before.

Through these little steps, perhaps you and the Other will find common ground. You might even get the opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings. At a minimum, though, you will know a little more about the Other than you did before.

Even if you discover you are unlikely to become best buddies, you will have defused some of the confusion and insecurity that existed in your mind. And you will surely be able to pat yourself on the back for making the effort.

Delay Gratification for Long-Term Success

2011-03-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

A recent meeting with a plastic surgeon who is starting his own practice and an advertising representative reaffirmed what great relationship-builders do: They build trust and think long term.

When the surgeon described his patient relationships, he said “I spend more time talking people out of procedures than I ever do talking them into one.” He went on to say how committed he is to long-term, happy relationships with all of his patients.

Not long after, the sales rep began describing possible advertising packages to the doctor. She gently guided him away from the biggest and most expensive package, because she said “It just doesn’t make sense for you right now. Maybe after your business is booming, you’ll want to upgrade, but for now this smaller package meets your needs. I want you to feel comfortable knowing you made a decision that’s right for you.”

What? Did I just hear business people consciously walk away from money? Yes, yes I did.

Here’s why they did it, I think: As interested as the doctor is in having a strong practice, he knows instinctively that sometimes, a successful relationship means turning down business in the short term. While the advertising sales representative almost certainly would have loved a big contract by the end of the meeting, she knew that helping my client begin from a smaller, more practical point meant her contract with him would grow larger over time.

The surgeon and the sales rep focused on what was best for the “other” in their relationships, rather than on their own short-term needs. Is anyone going to be surprised when both are ultimately more successful than their peers over the long term?

Chickens and Eggs

2011-03-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the pleasure of talking with a managing partner of CPA firm. We were discussing communication among the three primary generations currently in the workplace (Boomer, Gen X and Millennial). He said several things that struck me:

“I try very hard to see the best in people.”

“I’m one of the only Boomers in my firm, and I love being around younger people. They keep me fresh and their ideas intrigue me.”

“We work really hard at our firm to get it right internally, because if we get it right internally, it’ll be right for our clients.”

Clearly, this man thinks differently. His words indicate that he’s optimistic, kind, and comfortable in his own skin. I imagine that he is consistently what the rest of us are only on our best days.

Here’s my chicken-and-egg question: did this guy become managing partner because he is consistently optimistic, kind, and comfortable in his skin? Or is he consistently all these things because he is the managing partner? Could it be some combination of the two?

What do you think? Take a look at your leaders. Compare your experiences with them to what I’ve described here. I hope all of you find scads of similarities.

When Is As Important As What

2011-03-09T12:42:00.000-08:00

When I ask managing partners and leaders of professional services firms about their biggest operational challenge, their answers are remarkably similar. Nearly all have to do with how to communicate with younger team members. Even though we’ve been dealing with Millennials in the workplace for several years now, the communication problems remain. The responsibility is bilateral.

One of my friends who leads a small CPA firm was bemoaning a recent hire: a bright young man who just can’t seem to get to work on time. When I asked the managing partner how he handled the issue, he said, “Well, I gave him a very harsh review at the end of the year.” “How’d he take it?”, I asked. “Not well. He seemed upset and confused, and yet still nothing has changed.”

What’s wrong with this picture?

The latest hire described above was angry and confused that he didn’t learn more quickly what he was doing wrong. As a Millennial, he expects rapid feedback, even when it’s negative. He has every right to that expectation, and he’s smart to want the feedback. Nothing is less useful than a critique offered several months after the fact.

If you are a Baby Boomer or Generation X-er, you might feel uncomfortable addressing specific issues such as tardiness, dress, and professionalism the moment they occur. It’s much easier, isn’t it, to fill out a standard evaluation form at the end of the year? The problem is, it’s useless, particularly to younger professionals. They want to know (and we all would do well to want to know) right away when things are going well or when they’re going poorly.

That doesn’t necessarily mean Millennials will handle your critique professionally or in a way that makes you comfortable, but this isn’t the point. Many Millennials absolutely need to improve their ability to take criticism; it’s a relatively new concept to them. Like the rest of us, they will learn that a well delivered and appropriately timed critique helps more than it hurts.

If your employees are driving you crazy, consider that you may be playing a part in that. If they aren’t living up to your expectations, tell them. Tell them immediately. Tell them why. And then help them to do better. That’s what leaders do.

Heads and Tails

2011-02-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

The more I work with clients, the more I realize how often communication is misunderstood. Usually, we view it solely as the process of speaking and being heard; yet, we often forget the underlying elements that make communication effective. I am beginning see these elements as two sides of a coin. Heads, you’re talking; tails, you’re listening.

Honesty. It simply is impossible to work productively over the long term without the strong foundation that truthfulness provides. Be honest even when it’s not comfortable.

Heads – People rarely lose their integrity all at once; they do so interaction by interaction. So tell the truth as you understand it. Don’t sit on the sidelines of a meeting, offering nothing but sotto voce mumblings, only to play Monday morning quarterback afterward. That’s just not honest.

Tails – Even when you don’t like hearing truth (and most of us often don’t), accepting it gracefully and gratefully makes you a stronger professional and allows valuable communication to occur. So swallow hard, take a deep breath, and accept someone else’s version of reality. Roll it around your mind a while before rendering judgment and responding.

Civility. This is easy when things are going smoothly, but conflict is part of life and business. That’s when things often go awry.

Heads - Express yourself skillfully and with kindness. Remember Ritz Carlton’s motto? “We are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen.” Old world? Maybe. Timeless and widely applicable? Yes.

Tails – Resist sulkiness, yelling, and various other adolescent expressions of incivility when people make decisions you don’t like, disagree with your ideas, or fail to live up to your expectations.

Clarity. The pace of business lends itself to convoluted communication. A bevy of tools only complicates things more.

Heads – Think before you speak or write. Don’t just dash off an email or verbally toss instructions to team members. Deliver specific information about deadlines, expectations, and consequences for not meeting them. Learn to ask for what you want, respectfully and clearly. It’s a skill that can only be honed with practice, and it is well worth the effort (more on this topic here). If you want to be heard by someone, be sure you’re choosing a time when he or she has the emotional and intellectual room to hear you.

Tails – Pay attention during your interactions with people. The greatest compliment you can pay people is to look them in the eye and acknowledge their presence. All good communication starts with being awake and aware in the moment.

Communication is a coin toss: it can either simplify things in your organization or muck them up entirely. The beauty of it is that you get to decide, interaction by interaction, how you will respond, no matter which way the coin lands.

Ask For What You Want

2011-01-06T09:26:00.000-08:00

This month marks my 20^th anniversary of helping professionals improve their communications with clients and prospects, colleagues, and sometimes with themselves. Thousands of conversations with people just like you have taught me that even the most educated and experienced people have great difficulty asking for what they want.

Managers continue to run ineffective teams because they don’t know how to ask individuals in their group to do better. Employees gnaw at the cultural foundation with gossip and complaint because they don’t know how to ask for better treatment from co-workers. Leaders live in a constant state of irritation because they don’t know how to ask partners to participate in the business of the firm.

The results of not asking for what you want: unmet expectations, because they are unspoken; fractured relationships, because they are unclear from the outset; and broken trust because it is lost in consistently poor communication.

Nearly always, one of the two parties involved in miscommunication is utterly clueless as to any transgression or difficulty. This person simply had no idea he was hurting someone, or being unclear, or failing to adequately describe expectations. While he is in the dark about all this and going blithely about his day, the other party feels all kinds of negativity. Often, that negativity spills into other professional relationships. As office drama spins upward, productivity, camaraderie, and general happiness fall.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We all know the only person you can fully control is yourself; do that by asking for what you want. Take the initiative. Start the conversation only after your negative feelings (anger, embarrassment, hurt, etc.) have subsided. Ask him or her for some time when the two of you can talk. Describe your emotions surrounding something specific and relevant to the other person. Ask that person to work with you to improve the situation. If you need an apology, ask for it. If you need a change in behavior, ask for that, too. Be specific. Be as calm as you can. Make the communication or behavior the issue rather than the person.

Will you always get what you want? No. But in two decades of working in this arena, I know one thing for sure: you’ll never get it if you don’t ask.

Being Good

2010-12-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

We have now migrated from the Season of Thanks to the Season of Be Good or Else. Be good or Santa won't visit you. Be good or you'll get coal in your stocking. I find these exhortations about goodness to be a bit tricky, don't you? When we take the concept of goodness from the personal into the professional realm, it gets even trickier.

Following is how I perceive being good at work. Maybe it will get you thinking more specifically about goodness and how it applies in your professional life.

Our technical expertise is a given. If we want to be good at work, we need to think more broadly.
Goodness is in the eye of the beholder. We need to understand how other people perceive us before we can begin to demonstrate goodness. We can do that by asking those we trust to tell us what they think about our conduct.
Being good need not be difficult or high-falutin'. It may be as simple as slowing down our mental processes long enough to have a civilized interaction with a co-worker. It may mean removing our ear buds when someone is trying to talk to us, or not taking a call at that moment. Good behavior in a work environment means taking into consideration that we are in the environment with others and we owe them courtesy and respect. Any and all simple acts that show courtesy and respect are welcome contributors to goodness in the workplace.
Goodness feels good. Most of us know when we are behaving well and when we're not. The two actions feel completely different. One leaves us and those around us energized, while the other depletes us and those around us.
Good behavior serves our self interests. We enjoy feeling good more than feeling bad. We generally get better feedback when we're good, which can mean more clients, more interesting work, and more financial reward.
Goodness is contagious. I know when I am treated to someone else's good behavior, I am inclined to behave better myself. Their goodness seems to fill my good behavior tank, allowing me to demonstrate the same to others.
One final thing I have figured out: there are few angels among us who are good all the time. Everyone, especially in stressful times like these, has moments that are less than shining. Maybe part of being good at work is giving our colleagues a break when they have one of those less-than-shiny moments.

My wish for all of us this season is that we each give and receive the gift of goodness.

Happy holidays, everyone.

Risking Gratitude

2010-11-22T12:16:00.000-08:00

T’is the season to be thankful. Most people I know are relatively good at expressing gratitude for their own lives, health, families and such. Even those who have had a very difficult year somehow manage to understand their great good fortune in the larger scheme of things.

Most of us, though, aren’t very good at expressing gratitude to others. My clients are usually professional, often male, and frequently members of the Baby Boom generation. These clients run successful law firms, accounting firms, associations, and companies. They shoulder great burden and reap great reward. They share their successes with team members and sometimes inspire people to do better. They’re often masterful writers of emails that thank the firm or groups within the firm.

But when it comes to giving personal, eye-to-eye thanks, they clam up. It’s not in their training or nature to look directly at someone in a quiet moment and express their genuine, heart-felt gratitude to another person. My clients feel it, I am certain; but expressing it is just so difficult for them. There can be no question that this represents a lost opportunity to do better and to feel better.

So, for those of you who carry great appreciation in your minds and hearts, I offer this: risk exposing your emotions for the short time it takes to look one person in the eye, to say thank you, and to tell that great team member how much he or she means to you and to your organization. Don’t worry about how smoothly the words come out or whether you blush. Just do it. Your employees and partners will see you at your very best: opened, maybe a little humbled, and filled with gratitude. And you, in turn, will see them at their best: opened, maybe a little humbled, and filled with gratitude.

I could go on at length about what such an act does for an organization’s culture and profitability, but I think you already know.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. As always, thank you for reading.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

2010-11-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Recently I spoke at an international conference of CPAs and lawyers. The subject of one of the sessions was leadership. During the session, I discussed Emotional Pigpens -- people who either do not know or do not care how their behavior affects others. They create plenty of negative energy and can drain organizational vitality.

I’m accustomed to answering questions about how to deal with Emotional Pigpens, such as “I have the worst partner ever. He’s constantly demeaning, he’s an emotional vampire. How do I deal with him?” At this conference, however, I experienced something new. After my session, one of the participants came up to me and said “I’m one of those people you talked about. How do I fix the mess I’ve made?”

First of all, bless this man for waking up. I don’t know whether he realized it only when I described Emotional Pigpens, or whether he’d always known it. It doesn’t matter. The important thing is, he became aware of his behavior and its effect on those around him. He wanted to stop being an emotional pigpen and he wanted help.

So, how was he to make amends, he asked. I suggested he do it both individually and collectively, acknowledging that his behavior had been less than optimal, apologizing for that behavior, and promising to do better. I’ve had a few days since then to think more about it; perhaps the following might help him and those of you who find yourself in his position.

Know who needs an apology from you. If it’s not apparent to you, ask your closest confidant. He or she will know.
Look right into their eyes when you say you’re sorry. You don’t have to be eloquent, and you need not explain the issues that caused your misbehavior if it invades your privacy. Just say, “I’ve been awful lately, and I’m sorry. I will do better, and if I don’t do better, I want to hear from you.” Mean what you say and your listeners will feel it.
Most people with whom you try to make amends are likely to accept your apology. Take comfort in that. Those who do not, or who remain skeptical, have their own timetables for such things. Let them work it out. You have done your part.
Once you have apologized, and you begin to change your behavior, let yourself off the hook. Learn from your mistake and leave it behind. Don’t relive it. Move on so those around you can do the same.
Be thankful that you have the courage to realize your mistake, the fortitude to make amends, and the good fortune to be forgiven.

I am grateful to the self-admitted Emotional Pigpen who came forward. Learning to say we’re sorry is not easy, but making mistakes that affect others is part of being human. Apologizing for those mistakes makes us better humans.

Is Google's Problem Your Problem?

2010-10-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

According to an article in yesterday’s New York Times, Facebook’s “closed social network” is steadily and noticeably encroaching on Google’s territory. As a result, “Google risks losing the competition for Web users’ time, details of their lives and, ultimately, advertising.” (Really, did you think it wouldn’t come down to money?)

Google has been and continues to be the leader in writing algorithms for internet searches. Trouble is, the algorithms don’t work so well in social networking, because they can’t determine how humans actually make decisions or interact socially. In other words, you really can’t plug human nature into a formula.

Creating algorithms for social interaction is, in one form or another, what many businesses are trying to do. They’re having just about as much success at it as Google. Money, time, and effort are consistently spent on strategic plans that are never fully executed, business development programs that may or may not be completed or acted on, and retention tactics that often miss the mark.

These efforts fail because often they don’t consider how the humans affected will react – or, more likely, not react. A small core of people creates something that looks terrific on paper, only to have it largely ignored by the rest of the people in the organization. We humans decide mostly with our emotions: pleasure, fear, acceptance, loyalty, happiness.

Google is learning that it is difficult, if not impossible, to reduce human behavior to reliable, predicable statistics. As business owners and leaders, we can learn from Google’s travails. We can create better programs for retention, business development and just about everything else when we remember to include those whose participation is crucial to the program’s success.

We can lead our organizations more effectively when we remember that our team members are not parts of a formula, but individuals whose decision making process is a complex blend of rational, emotional, and social elements.

Five Ways to Fortify Your Culture

2010-10-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

If a recent survey by Adecco Group is accurate, workers of all ages are beginning to explore job opportunities, with more than half of Millennial generation employees planning to look for different jobs as the economy begins to turn around. Now is a very good time for leaders to consider organizational culture as a retention tool.

With this post, I am assuming you have a strong and supportive culture but may not know how best to leverage it. Here are five ways:

Consistently articulate your culture. If you can do that, you can compellingly answer the question “Why should I stay here?” when your top employee asks. You can also incorporate your cultural message into marketing and recruiting collaterals, which creates consistency internally and externally.
Bring your personal values to work with you. Most of us view ourselves as decent, compassionate individuals who want everyone in our lives to do well and be happy. Remember that as you lead your team members – even those who challenge you – through the ups and downs of everyday business.
Hire for cultural fit above all else. When you know you have a great culture, keeping it great should be your top leadership priority. Hire for attitude instead of GPA, book of business, or community connections. Attitudes are absolutely viral. This works either to your organization’s benefit or detriment, depending on how you hire.
Reward behaviors that enhance the culture. Every day, if your culture is as good as you think it is, you’ll find someone demonstrating it. Open your eyes; when you see the real thing, reward the behavior with a simple thank you. Communicate what you know is true: that the individual exhibiting the right behavior is what makes your organization successful.
Get rid of those who clearly are a poor cultural fit. This seems to be the toughest thing for leaders. It often happens that the one or two bad seeds have some kind of perceived leverage on the organization. Maybe they’re great business developers. Maybe they’re excellent producers. But when they’re not making rain or crunching out billable time, they’re busy poisoning your culture. Many good people who represent your firm’s future will leave because of the poisonous minority.

I See You

2010-09-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

That’s the line from Avatar, which I saw recently (and, yes, I’m something of a late adopter). I see you. I can’t get it out of my head because I think it has important implications for all of us who work with humans.

Regular readers and clients know I have used thousands of words talking about gratitude, helping business people understand its importance to morale and, ultimately, profitability. But I have learned that there is something more important and more profound than gratitude, and that is recognition.

To recognize that another person exists in your world is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. In today’s overworked, hyper-connected world, authentic recognition is woefully absent. Plaques and Facebook posts and end-of-year bonuses are wonderful, but they are superficial, mere tokens of authentic recognition.

Truly seeing another human is easier than you might think. It’s as simple as stopping what you’re doing to look up and make eye contact at the person in your presence. It’s asking someone how they’re doing and then listening to the answer: offering congratulations, help, laughter, or maybe just a nod, but acknowledging that you see him or her. It is including someone who has approached your group in your conversation. It is taking a breath before you respond to a request or hit “send”. There are hundreds of other examples, but essentially, it is nothing more or less than opening your eyes to see another human being fully.

I wonder who among us has not experienced the pain of not being seen. I’m betting a lack of recognition has caused more than one disruption in your office, and maybe in your personal life. From a profitability perspective alone, seeing others – truly seeing them – has value. From a personal perspective, the rewards are incalculable.

I see you.

Business Development Training: Think Before You Spend

2010-09-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

People in my line of work seem to think that growth strategies will be a focal point for professional services firms in the near future. Any effective growth strategy requires that at least some professionals know how to bring in clients. This involves education, whether you provide it internally or through a consultant.

Either way, it is prudent to analyze your motives for spending money and time on training or coaching. Ask your partner group the following:

Does your culture support consistent, long-range marketing and business development learning and efforts, as opposed to sporadic and reactive demands from individual partners?
If so, how?
If not, what are you and your partners willing to change?
What, exactly, will be your carrot and stick approach when it comes to business development efforts and results?
Will business development efforts or results affect compensation? HINT: If business development does not at some point affect compensation, training is a waste of resources.
How will you handle the inevitable question: “Hmmm. Peter Partner seems to be doing fine here, and he doesn’t develop business. Why should I?”
How will the firm create a system of accountability for the time and expenses that go with increased business development efforts?
What does a successful outcome for a training or coaching program look like to you and your partners?

Finally, be sure your firm’s growth strategy is in place and known by every team member. Spending money and time to teach anyone to develop business when there is no carefully crafted or well communicated plan for the firm’s future is like shaving with a dull razor blade: often painful and rarely effective. The crucial difference, of course, is that razor blades are a whole lot cheaper.

Strategic Questions for Strategic Planning

2010-08-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

If they aren’t planned and facilitated effectively, strategic planning meetings can easily become one or all of the following:

Snooze fests
A game of Liar’s Poker
Boxing matches
Coffee klatches

Not one of these is worth your time or money. To base your strategy session on substance and get started on a real plan, be sure you gather the following data from your partners:

Do you want more of a specific type of work?
Do you want stronger people to do the work?
Do you want to rid yourselves of certain clients? Can you afford to?
Are you content with the money you make?
Do you want to work more or less?
Will your current managing partner remain in that position for the foreseeable future? Has a successor been named or even considered?

It’s critical to find out what the firm’s owners want, and then determine how those desires intersect with marketplace and operational realities. This isn’t all you need to do to chart your firm’s course, but if everyone can agree on the answers to the questions above, you’re on the right road.

Choose Discomfort

2010-08-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

A senior level person in your company comes to work grumpy as a crocodile one day and perfectly pleasant the next, dealing with co-workers according to his mood.
One of your employees has trouble understanding that personal calls are just that: personal. She’s on the phone in her cubicle several times a day, sharing the details of last night’s date. Everyone within earshot gets to know, too.
Your best business developer pitches a scathing fit in his secretary’s cubicle when things don’t go as planned.

Lucky you. As the owner of a business, you have the challenge of deciding whether and how to respond to situations like these. And they happen every day. Each situation is different; each requires its own thoughtful response. It also requires a willingness to enter into a potentially uncomfortable conversation.

It’s interesting that most business owners feel fully capable of dealing with the technicalities of running their enterprises. The internal issues, however, cause plenty of stress. Owners know through experience how costly internal drama can be, both in terms of short-term productivity and longer-term morale and turnover. Ultimately, though, business owners are just like everybody else: they avoid conflict because it’s uncomfortable. They sit on their hands and hope the situation will resolve itself.

Rarely do conflicts like these resolve themselves. In fact, it’s likely that the perpetrators don’t even realize they’re doing something wrong. Why? Because no one tells them. Sure, they might receive one of those useless emails that tries to correct everyone’s behavior while achieving nothing at all (except perhaps to irritate those who aren’t misbehaving). And they might hear something about their general attitude in an annual evaluation, if their supervisor remembers to mention it. But they don’t receive the most useful thing of all: a one on one conversation that clarifies the immediate issue and seeks a resolution. They don’t receive it because you, the business owner, don’t want to be uncomfortable.

It is well worth your discomfort to confront difficult internal issues. By having what may be an awkward conversation with an employee or partner, you help the other person become aware of his or her behavior and offer an opportunity to change it. Valuing your own comfort over clear communication and prompt action creates backlash: your challenging employees continue their inappropriate behavior, because they are unaware; productivity decreases because everyone else is dealing with the challenging employee except you; and morale drops when your best employees see that bad behavior is unacknowledged and sometimes even unintentionally rewarded when you do nothing.

The next time an internal issue arises, take a deep breath. Then have a face-to-face conversation with the employee about your expectations and how they’re not being met in a particular situation. Be specific. Make it clear that you want improved behavior and ask for their cooperation. Tell them how much you value their good work and that you want to see them focus on doing more of it. Find a way to leave the conversation on a positive note.

Though your palms may sweat and your heart rate may increase in the knowledge that you have a situation to deal with, deal with it anyway -- sooner rather than later. It’s the best way to change things for the better.

We Need a New Clause in the Social Contract

2010-08-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

The latest display of rage (in this case, a fed-up flight attendant) ought to stop us all in our tracks. The picture of a you-have-tap-danced-on-my-last-nerve flight attendant hurling invective over the PA system at yet another rude (not to mention uncomfortable, cramped, stressed) passenger, then escaping via the emergency evacuation chute is kind of funny. I’m sure it will be fodder for the joke writers at every late night talk show.

While it’s easy to smirk, we need to think beyond this single incident and consider that it’s only one of many acts of rudeness and incivility that occur every day. Life is more stressful, more crowded, more noisy than it was even ten years ago. Put a lousy economy on top of that, and you have a recipe for rudeness and, as Mary J. Blige so aptly describes it, hateration.

All this hateration causes pain. It hurts the person who reacts to rudeness with rudeness and it taints everyone who has to witness it. Hateration benefits no one, not even the hater. So what’s a society to do?

Instead of instituting a Politeness Police, let’s simply agree to monitor our own behavior. Let’s insert a clause into our individual social contracts that clearly defines how we will conduct ourselves – not just when things are going well, but when we’re thrust into stressful situations rife with potential rudeness and conflict.

Let’s choose civility. Let’s choose kindness. Let’s take the high road, shall we? Because the low road is awfully crowded.

Managing Millennials (and Everyone Else) in the Moment

2010-07-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

Brittany, a twenty-something employee, received her annual evaluation. She got a pretty good review from her boss, along with a nice raise (at least in the boss' opinion).

How did Brittany react? She was disappointed at the meager raise. She felt sure she was going to get not only more money, but a promotion, and was angry when she didn’t. Brittany did not believe the boss understood her contribution to the company, so she voiced her concerns to the Big Boss (and, I suspect, to anyone inside or outside the company who would listen). Brittany left the clear impression that she would seek opportunities elsewhere if her concerns were not dealt with.

Sound familiar? It does to me. I’ve heard this from more than one client, and the scenario is increasing as the Millennial generation advances in the workplace. This group is the most confident, the most vocal, and the most open of any generation, and many Boomers aren’t coping particularly well.

Millennials are teaching us very important things about management. Here are a few suggestions, based on my own totally non-scientific research.

1. Abolish the annual or biannual employee evaluation as your primary evaluation tool. This generation has made it completely clear they want rapid feedback. Give it to them. The time you spend in providing rapid feedback (which doesn’t have to be huge) will be more than made up by the decreased drama that comes from clear, consistent communication.

2. Debrief after every major project. First, ask your Brittanys how they think they did. Then let them know what you thought of their performance. That simple sequence and interchange will give you the basis for a truly productive conversation. It is during these conversations that employees learn what it takes to get to the next level – and they’re all interested in progressing.

3. Don’t sugarcoat your information. It’s tempting to go easy on this very privileged generation, but studies tell us that they appreciate straightforwardness. Boomers often tap dance around difficult conversations. Millennials are more likely to speak plainly, and to respond better to straight talk.

4. Connect with your employees through the work itself, not through your HR and compensation processes. Have your mind and your eye on the people who work for you. Correct, teach, and praise in the moment. Feedback is needed now, not six months or a year from the moment.

5. Assume your employees will leave you. I don’t know a single Millennial who plans to stay at his or her company indefinitely. The employment picture has changed forever in this regard. Understanding and accepting this will allow you to work in the moment, focusing on what really matters.

These five suggestions apply equally well to workers from every generation. Do you remember how many times you walked out of your own evaluation when you were an employee thinking “What a load of ****?” This new generation is different in their willingness to vocalize previously unspoken thoughts.

No doubt about it: Millennials are creating all kinds of discomfort and irritation in the workplace. However, given the rates of divorce, alcoholism, obesity and drug addiction among Boomers, I wonder if the Millennial approach — for all its grandiosity and self-promotion — might be a healthier alternative.

Ten Things to Be Happy About

2010-07-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

It’s July. Hot, sweltering, and dusty (at least in New Mexico). We’re between Independence Day and Labor Day: a long time before any freebie days off. Our jobs are stressful, our lives drive us crazy. What on earth could there possibly be to be happy about?

Glad you asked.

1. At least for today, the oil spill has stopped leaking its toxins into the beautiful gulf.

2. Our pets will always be happy to see us, no matter how rough our day has been.

3. We are not yet through this recession, but we have soldiered on in spite of it.

4. We have strong minds and mostly useful bodies.

5. We have air conditioning.

6. Even if we don’t like our jobs, we’re putting food on our tables with the money we earn.

7. We’re capable of learning from our mistakes if we choose to.

8. Some of our professional relationships give us a reason to get up and go to work each day.

9. Things are changing every minute. We cannot know what wonderful event is around the corner, but we can choose to believe it is there.

10. Someone, somewhere loves every one of us.

These are just ten things from the top of my head. I’ll bet you can come up with at least ten things of your own. And I guarantee you’ll feel better for the effort.

Civility As a Tactic

2010-07-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

Recently I had a couple of phone conversations that started like a race horse leaving the gate. No “Hi, how are you?”. No “What’s new?”. No “Is this a good time?”. Just an immediate recitation of needs or events. What kind of response do you think the callers received? Right. I was something less than involved, because I hadn’t really been invited to be.

Civility as a daily life choice is an optimal existence. It is also an effective communication tactic. Conversational civility is so much more than small talk; it is a roadmap you can use to help you reach your desired destination. Without it, you might very well lose your way in the conversation, because half of the conversation is essentially missing. And when you lose your way, the chances decrease that you will get what you want or need from the conversation.

On the flip side, employing civility in your conversations contributes to the possibility that you will achieve your goal, whether it’s information, affirmation, or simply a lightening of your burdens. My husband always says “You never know what someone else is going through.” He counsels to communicate accordingly, and he’s right. Asking those little, seemingly perfunctory questions, is essential to getting a read on the other person’s receptivity to you at that moment.

This is civilized behavior, but it’s also tactically intelligent. If you want something from another person, even if it’s only a friendly ear, you are smart to ask small questions. By doing that, you invite the other person to be involved and thereby increase your chances of having a productive conversation.

Creating A Singular Service Experience

2010-07-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

The older I get, the more I realize I’m not all that unique. The services I offer — communications training, strategic planning facilitation, motivational speaking — are provided by competent people across the globe. I’m not the only one who does this work. I’ll bet whatever you do isn’t so unusual, either. If we’re providing services and products similar to those of our competitors, how can we differentiate?

There’s really only one way: make your customers feel something about you. Not your product or process, not your price, not your fancy building. YOU. If you want more clients, make working with you a truly singular experience. Six basic principles apply.

Recently I went to an “eco-urban lifestyle market” in Albuquerque, New Mexico for a facial. I was a new client. From the first telephone conversation with Andre, I was completely and utterly delighted. Within 30 seconds, he and I were like old friends. (Principle #1: use your voice and words to make clients feel comfortable quickly). I looked forward to meeting him in person. This is definitely not how most of us feel when booking an appointment anywhere.

Andre was expecting me when I arrived (Principle #2: be ready for your clients, not surprised by them). He knew who I was without my telling him and said “Hello, Melinda! We’re so glad you’re here!”. He was genuinely warm and welcoming. (Principle #3: Express your gratitude and joy to customers). Before I could sit down, Andre had poured me a glass of tea, telling me all the while how terrific I was about to feel and what a fantastic facial I would receive from Kevin. (Principle #4: shine a spotlight on your co-workers’ abilities).

Needless to say, the facial itself was terrific, as I expected it to be. (Principle #5: customers always expect your service or product to be good, so your technical skill will rarely be a differentiator). However, I’ve never before felt as special and welcome as this team made me feel. It was impossible to imagine that they had other clients, because they looked right at me and said “We do all of this just for you.” (Principle #6: make every customer feel as though they’re your only one).

As you can imagine, they do have other clients. Plenty of them. It’s likely they say something similar to every single one. Does that make them less than genuine? No. They love their work and truly enjoy their clients. It’s obvious. It’s authentic. It’s singular.

Take a few minutes to look around your business and reflect a bit. Then take a look in the mirror and consider the six principles above.

What are you and your team doing to give your customers a singular experience? What are you doing to make them feel something about you? Whatever you do, make sure your actions and interactions come right from the heart. When they do, know that your competitors who create only neutrality with their customers will have a really tough time catching up to you.

If you want to read more articles on culture and behavior, please click here.

Five Steps Up the Corporate Ladder

2010-07-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

With the economy still in the doldrums, those of you who have jobs are among the fortunate. Here are five steps you can take to keep your job and thrive, wherever you are professionally.

1. Know your company’s power structure. Find out as quickly as you can who’s who and what’s what in your firm. Determine very quickly who’s in your corner and who wants you to disappear. Do everything you can to work on projects with those who support you.

2. Get face to face with the organization’s leadership as often as you can. You’ll probably have to initiate the effort on this one. Only by having individual relationships with leaders (and as many other team members as possible) will you build a base of support. People do business with people they like and trust; it’s no different between you and your company. So get out from behind your desk and go talk to people.

3. Develop a succinct response to two questions: What do you do here? What are you working on? You need to be able to describe your role, your current activities and how they contribute to the company’s success.

4. Communicate more clearly than anyone else, and don’t be afraid to ask the same of others. Many people aren’t skilled communicators, so you have to take that responsibility. For example, have you ever been hit with something to be done “ASAP”? Ask the ASAP people to give you a specific time and day when they need the project. They won’t fire you because you asked for a deadline; they’ll know when to expect the work, and you’ll be able to set priorities.

5. Keep everything in perspective and laugh often. Life can be pretty funny when you step back and take a look at it. So laugh a lot. You’ll like your life better, other people will enjoy your company, and you’ll be more successful in the long run.

The Truest Way to Build Your Credibility

2010-06-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

How many promises have you made that you haven’t kept? How many times have you let yourself off the hook?

Every time you commit to an action and do not act, you lose credibility. Every time you end a conversation with “I’ll call you next week for lunch” and you don’t call, you lose credibility. Every time you agree to champion a task for your company and you drop the ball, you lose credibility.

The consequences of lost credibility are significant at both an individual and an organizational level. Humans are generalizers by nature; I’m convinced it goes back to our cave man days. Each time one of your employees or partners makes a promise to do something and fails to deliver, it’s not just that person whose credibility suffers. By extension, your organization also runs a risk of losing credibility.

This problem can seem insurmountable, but it isn’t. You can improve your credibility and, by extension, your company’s, by changing your own behavior. Now that I think about it, any change you want must begin with you (Gandhi said as much, more eloquently).

You can start today. Just for today, keep whatever commitments you made. If you vowed to exercise and eat right, do it. Just for today. If you promised Mary in accounting that you would have your expense reports done by close of business today, do it. Just this once. See how it feels at the end of the day to have lived credibly.

Build on small achievements until you are consistently credible, both in the commitments you make to yourself and those you make to others. Don’t get crazy and try to change everything at once. Start small. Meet a commitment every day. Pat yourself on the back when you do. Kick yourself in the behind when you don’t. Rectify your lapse immediately.

Then, and only then, can you ask others in your organization (or in your personal life, for that matter) to keep their commitments.

Annual Employee Reviews: So 20th Century

2010-06-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

Remember when correspondence took a couple of weeks? Now it happens in seconds. Remember the glory days of printed newsletters: the writing, the printing, the stuffing, the stamping, the mailing? Pretty much gone. And how about returning phone calls “as soon as possible”? Now, it’s within a specific number of hours (if you’re savvy).

Yet companies that practice business at 21^st century speed are still doing annual employee evaluations. You really have to wonder why. The data on young employees show that their strong preference is to receive regular and rapid feedback on their performance. So why are managers waiting a year? How is this a good business practice?

The Millenials have it right on this issue: annual emploee reviews are worthless. Baby Boomers like me can tell war stories all day about enduring employee evaluations from both sides of the desk. As employees, here’s what we were thinking during the evaluations:

1. I hate this.

2. Why didn’t my supervisor tell me I screwed up on that project six months ago?

3. I wonder if that mistake is going to cost me a raise.

4. How much raise will I get, anyway?

5. I hate this.

As managers and executives, here’s our thought process:

1. I hate this.

2. I can’t remember anything this employee did all year.

3. This evaluation form is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. How can I assign a number to someone’s work for a whole year? Should I use decimals?

4. What if I give him a bad evaluation? Will he quit?

5. Seriously. I’m going to speak to our HR director as soon as this evaluation is over.

6. I hate this.

None of this is productive. It’s a much better use of time to evaluate employees by project or task. Debrief after every major effort. Tell the employee straight up what you think they did well and what might have gone better. And if you’re really brave (and, again, savvy), you’ll ask them what they think of your performance. Then, together, line up your mutual expectations for the next project.

If you think you don’t have time to evaluate employees after a project or task, think how much time it takes to recruit, hire, and train a new one after the old one quits because she wasn’t getting the right feedback at the right time.

We're Not Crazy After All

2010-06-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

Affirmation is a wonderful thing. The 5/28/10 edition of the New York Times, in which Stephen Sadove, chairman and CEO of Saks Inc. (yes, the Saks), is interviewed, did just that for all of us who understand that culture is the foundation of business success.

Mr. Sadove cites the need to build relationships with a diverse set of people as a guiding principle in his philosophy of running Saks. Further, he says he now spends more time working on people issues than on any other part of the business. He says: “I tend to care a lot about the people and the relationships that they have, how the team is operating, the culture.”

CEOs, leaders, and managers, ask yourselves: How much time am I working on the business (cultural and other non-billable matters) rather than in the business (billable work)?

Sadove says: “Culture drives innovation and whatever else you’re trying to drive within a company — innovation, execution, whatever it’s going to be. And that then drives results.” He notes that Wall Street never asks him about the culture of Saks, about leadership, about the ideas that drive the numbers and the results. He’s working hard to teach people that, while numbers are certainly important, they’re not the critical success factor. Only culture serves that role over the long term.

Now, ask yourselves another question: What do I spend most of the time discussing with my partners and colleagues: quarterly revenue or corporate culture?

When asked about Saks’ hiring practices, Sadove stays with the cultural theme when he says”…you want somebody who has the intellectual capacity, strategic thinking and the skill sets. But I’m looking for a cultural fit with me. How collaborative are they? How inclusive are they? How willing are they to listen to lots of different points of view? Do they have diverse interests?”

And one more time, ask yourselves a question: “Which is more important in hiring: grade point average or attitude?”

It’s by asking questions like these – and acting on the answers – that sucessful corporate cultures are created.

Customer Service Is All About Your Employees

2010-06-01T15:28:00.001-07:00

Steve Wynn, owner of Wynn Resorts in Las Vegas, knows a little something about customer service. I know, because whenever I go to Vegas, I stay at the Wynn. I stay there mostly because of the terrific customer service the hotel offers. From the moment I step inside the lobby to the moment the doorman helps me into a cab to the airport, my experience is sheer perfection.

It’s taken me several visits to the Wynn to figure out an important aspect of great customer service. But first, the obvious:

Great customer service costs money. You can’t give great service if you’ve cut into the muscle of your organization. In the Wynn’s case, you have to have enough people polishing the marble, vacuuming the carpet, and changing the flowers every morning, or the entire environment will suffer.
Great service requires training. You have to teach employees to smile, look customers in the eye, and respond promptly to requests. Wynn’s got that training down to a science.
Great service has to be recognized and rewarded. This, of course, is the case with any behavior you want to encourage.

But Wynn demonstrates a third element, and it’s both less obvious and more magical than the first two. Wynn’s stellar service is a function of authenticity, where employees willingly and without inducement say great things about where they work. Wynn employees talk openly about how much they appreciate Steve Wynn’s efforts to negotiate a tough economy without laying people off. They say how great he is work for. They say it’s a privilege to be employed by Wynn Resorts.

At least from this outsider’s perspective, it looks like Steve Wynn is working hard every day to give his employees the respect, dignity, and optimism they deserve. It’s just not possible to script the positive comments they make. Clearly, they are speaking from the heart.

If you want delighted customers, make sure you have delighted employees.

Emotional Solutions

2010-05-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

New York Times columnist David Brooks sparked interesting thoughts this week. In his May 25 column, he says:

“People are born with natural desires to be admired and to be worthy of admiration. They are born with moral emotions, a sense of fair play and benevolence. They are also born with darker passions, like self-love and tribalism, which mar rationalist enterprises. We are emotional creatures first and foremost, and politics should not forget that.”

In the last sentence above, we could easily substitute “business” for “politics”. It would still be true. We are emotional creatures first and foremost, and business must not forget that. When things aren’t going right internally, look first at the emotions involved. Very likely, that’s where the problem lies. And very likely, if you address the emotions, you will find the solution.

When in Doubt, Pick Up the Phone

2010-05-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

Email is easy and fast. It’s also incomplete and leaves room for plenty of unanswered questions and misunderstanding. A couple of times recently, I’ve experienced the conflict that goes with deciding how to follow up with people.

In one instance, I had submitted an application to a speaker’s bureau. Weeks later, I had heard nothing from them. After a short, typical conversation in my head about not being good enough to belong to this bureau, I decided to end the masochism and pick up the phone. As it turned out, the president of the company had begun the review process of my application, but had not yet completed it. Our conversation was upbeat and encouraging, and so very simple.

Another time, I was struggling with content for an upcoming presentation on leadership and management for lawyers. When I realized I would not be the best choice to address certain aspects of management because I have never run a law firm, I faced the same method-of-contact dilemma. Email surely would have been easier. I could have backed out of the session gracefully and left the relationship intact. But I really wanted to address the leadership issue in law firms, so I picked up the phone and had a conversation with my contact. In the course of the conversation, we realized the conference attendees would benefit from a team teaching format that involved a managing partner and me working together. Our conversation created a better program that would not have been possible by email.

No doubt: it’s much easier to send an email than to have to deal with a conversation. But it’s in those very conversations – those dialogues – that some of our best outcomes can occur.

Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do

2010-05-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who immediately recalled the Neil Sedaka song when you read the title of this post, I am truly sorry. It’s just the best way to frame a conversation about firing clients.

Such a heavy word, firing. I prefer to think of it as moving on, acting in everyone’s best interests, similar to ending a personal relationship. Who hasn’t heard “It’s not you, it’s me” at some point? Personally or professionally, it seems, the sentiment is applicable.

However you choose to phrase it, moving away from a client relationship is scary, gut-wrenching work. Who in her right mind would risk walking away from steady (although not lucrative), known (although not challenging), comfortable (although not inspiring) work — particularly in times like these?

If a particular client’s face pops into your head as you read this, here are some of the questions to ask yourself:

Is the client best served by your working at a level below your capabilities?
Are you willing to continue working at a level that does not challenge you?
How is your decreasing passion for the work affecting your client’s interests?
How is your client’s behavior affecting you and your team?
Are you willing to wait it out in the hope that things will magically improve?
Would a conversation with your client change anything?
What opportunities are you missing by pouring energy into this client?

Putting yourself through a questioning exercise like this one is useful, whether you are determined to leave your client or are trying to find reasons to stay. Asking hard questions brings clarity to your thought process, removing some of the more emotional (and less useful) noise in your head. Finally, it helps move you closer to answering an important question:

What makes you happy?

Soft Skills Aren't Soft.

2010-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

Every time I read something about communication, leadership, mentoring and the like, the words “soft skills” are nearly always used as descriptors. That chaps me, because in our business culture soft is often a euphemism for weak.. Bottom lines, net revenues, profitability: these are hard and, therefore, strong initiatives. Relationship building, listening, mentoring, teaching: soft and wrongly perceived as weak.

Think about it. How often is someone in a company publicly rewarded for civility? For kindness? Contagious happiness? It’s woefully rare. Yet it is these things that determine the culture and, at least in part, the long-term success of an organization.

I wonder if we could come up with something other than soft skills to describe these critical individual and organizational traits. Maybe it’s Quality of Life Skills, but that’s a tad wordy. I’m open to suggestion, but let’s not call them soft anymore. These emotionally intelligent traits are the foundation of a strong, successful organizational culture. Soft (weak) just isn’t what we’re shooting for.

The Secret of a Successful Merger

2010-05-04T09:44:00.001-07:00

Companies merge for lots of reasons: expertise, market share, compatible pricing structure, geographic expansion are among them. Seldom are the equally crucial internal factors given as much consideration as these external issues. In my career as a marketing director for a CPA firm, I endured one very significant merger and a few smaller ones. The significant merger was with another CPA firm, a large, old and well respected outfit with strong, old-school leadership. The firm I was with was the smaller, entrepreneurial, growing group with a flexible and inclusive managing partner.

Those of us on both sides of the merger leadership team worked diligently and creatively to get policies and procedures straight, develop strategies and missions, and communicate developments to everyone in the newly merged firm .

It didn’t work. Why? Because the people working in the older and larger firm were excellent employees who did what they were told and did it extremely well. They marched in lockstep to the leadership’s music. The people from the younger, more entrepreneurial group were also excellent members of a team that was rewarded for initiative, creative thinking, and participation in decision making.

Neither group was wrong or any less accomplished than the other. But our habits were firmly entrenched by the time of the merger. In fact, the managing partner (who came from the smaller firm) resigned his position and went out on his own. So did most of the senior team members from the smaller firm. Those of us who had been encouraged to question could no more march to the leadership’s tune than the folks from the other side could have dared to question that tune.

If your group is considering a merger, I strongly encourage you to think clearly, deliberately, and without illusions about cultural alignment. Listen. Are your individual tunes playing in the same key?

Blackberry Fantasies

2010-04-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

There’s nothing like a few days out of town to invigorate thinking and observation. In my case, watching people in Las Vegas got my brain going about connections. From conference attendees to tourists to off-duty employees, it seemed as though everyone had their heads bowed over their Blackberries. Some were walking, some leaning against the walls of the resort, some standing in the middle of the corridor. All appeared to be completely oblivious to their surroundings.

I have to wonder if this is a good thing. As a business person, I understand the importance of being connected. As a human being, however, I also understand the value of being where I am, rather than in cyberspace. I know this for sure: when you’re connected 24/7, you’re missing beauty, humanity, and real life.

Surely there is a middle path we can walk.

Imagination

2010-04-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

Recently, a managing partner asked me if I facilitate meetings. I told him I did, with one exception: I won’t facilitate partner meetings anymore. When he asked why, I said “Because it’s painful and useless to watch partners sit around and lie to each other.” His response: “You’re right. We absolutely DO lie to each other. But can you imagine what would happen if we all told the truth?”

Well, yes I can. The conference room would be an ugly sight at first. But let’s think what might happen if everyone agreed to tell the truth. Imagine if partners really trusted and liked each other. Imagine if they even knew each other on some level other than the professional. Imagine if they had the communication skills and the courage to disagree openly and with civility. Imagine if they trusted each other enough to allow one of them to lead the others with a clear-cut strategy. It’s entirely possible that putting all the skunks on the table might just be the beginning of a new way of doing things.

It’s worth imagining these scenarios. It’s worth working for. And if there’s a company out there that wants to try to make imagination real, I’d change my mind about facilitating partner meetings.

Emails: Lighten Up

2010-04-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

Recently I actually took my own advice and was astounded at how wise I can be.

I was involved in an e-discussion with a client when he expressed an opinion that wasn’t in line with my thinking. In true Melinda rapid-fire fashion, I hit “reply” and began my email with “I disagree.” Then I went on to say why, and posed a very good argument.

There was just one thing: I would have lost my client’s attention at “I disagree.” He might have thought, “Hmmph. She disagrees. Mouthy woman. She’s just being disagreeable.” His defenses would have been up and he would have been distracted even before getting to my dissertation.

I disagree. Those two little words are too strong for most email discussions — at least if you’re interested in maintaining a good relationship with your recipients. We all know email messages lack critical qualities of face to face conversations: facial expression, tone of voice, body language, all of it. You might not feel as strongly about something as you seem to when you are curt or harsh in writing.

For once in my life, I didn’t hit the “send” button too quickly. I re-read my message, sat back and looked at it for a bit, and then deleted those two little words. Instead, I softened my stance with a simple “I see things differently”, then posed my cogent argument. My client still didn’t do what I wanted him to do, but at least he heard what I had to say. Sometimes that’s as good as it gets.

There's More to Work Than Work

2010-03-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday’s column by David Brooks of the New York Times deals in part with policy makers' misunderstanding of what drives prosperity and happiness in

America

. Mr. Brooks got me thinking the same might be true of businesses when they fail to see what keeps employees happy and productive: it’s about so much more than money.

The good relationships employees build at work will do more to create and sustain corporate loyalty than any benefits package. The same is true in the opposite: no matter how golden the handcuffs, employees will walk away the moment the opportunity presents itself if they feel unappreciated or isolated.

Says Brooks: “Over the past few decades, teams of researchers have been studying happiness. Their work, which seemed flimsy at first, has developed an impressive rigor, and one of the key findings is that, just as the old sages predicted, worldly success has shallow roots while interpersonal bonds permeate through and through… The overall impression from this research is that economic and professional success exists on the surface of life, and that they emerge out of interpersonal relationships, which are much deeper and more important.”

Relationships are innate to our survival and essential to happiness. Knowing this makes me wonder why leaders who want a stable, productive, profitable workforce don’t pay more attention to relationships. Maybe it’s because quantifiable things like efficiency, rate, and budgeting are easier to tackle with the IQ; no emotional intelligence is required. Ultimately, though, efficiency, rate and budgeting are not what create great companies. Relationships are.

How Do You Know You’re a Good One-On-One Communicator?

2010-03-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

Here are ten behaviors or characteristics of the most effective communicators I know.

You listen well. You don’t interrupt or assume what the other person is going to say.
You make eye contact. It’s disheartening to be talking to someone whose eyes are all over the room or looking at the wrong part of your body.
Your facial expressions indicate involvement in the conversation. This one’s tough for many men, who typically remain stone-faced when someone else is speaking. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re disengaged or judgmental, but it sure can feel that way.
You focus on the person and the subject at hand. When someone is trying to talk to you, pull out your earplugs, look up from your computer or phone, and give the person in front of you your complete attention. This is really just civility.
You connect the other person’s statements to yours. It’s really weird to talk with someone who doesn’t connect his thoughts with your statements. It’s like talking in a parallel universe. So make sure that, when you’re talking, you’re actually conversing and connecting rather than delivering a monologue.
You leave just the right pause between the other person’s words and yours. Too little time and you’re very nearly interrupting and almost certainly not processing their words; too much time and you seem to be disconnecting from the conversation.
You know how to end or redirect a conversation gracefully. If you are a good communicator, you will never be at a loss for people who want to talk with you. It’s important to be able to say, “I’m glad we got a chance to chat, but now I’ve really got to get back to the project I’m working on.” Or, “Gosh, I’m sorry to hear about your difficulty with this. I’m wondering, though, if you should talk to so-and-so about it. He seems like the guy who can help you solve the problem.”
You know how to invite others into your conversation or exclude them from it. This is critical in cubicle-ridden conditions, where people seem to find it completely ok to just jump into a two-person conversation. Interruptions seem to be status quo these days. Learn when it is useful to say, “Oh, John, I’m so glad you stopped in. We were just talking about….”, and when it’s better to say, “John, I’ll be with you as soon as I’ve finished talking with Mary.”
You can sense what the other person needs at that moment and you act accordingly. People will seek you out for wisdom, advice, laughter, empathy, guidance, clarity, and sometimes a kick in the pants - -whether they realize this or not. Listen carefully for what they need and give it to them. Rely on your instincts and skills, and you will rarely go wrong.
You have the courage to say what needs to be said. See #9 above

What else do you think should be added to this list?

Watch What You Say…to Yourself

2010-03-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

All too often, we overachievers don’t need anyone to make us feel like we’re not doing enough. Our self-talk handles that just fine, thank you. And that self-talk can be brutal.

What we say to ourselves is as important, if not more so, than what we say to others.

Overachievers sometimes are prone to think they’re not doing enough, or that what they do isn’t making a real difference. They can feel as though their professional efforts are either not being recognized as meaningful, or that the work they do is so undervalued it really doesn’t have meaning. For people with any work ethic at all, these situations can begin a spiral of deadly self-talk. To whit:

“Nothing I do matters.” “The firm wouldn’t even know if I left.” “Sure, I’ve got a bunch of great ideas, but they’ll never get executed here.” “Nothing ever changes at this place, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Pretty soon, internal talk like this will influence your attitude and behavior. If you are having any conversations like this with yourself, it is crucial to reframe your thinking – and fast. I hope these suggestions change your conversation with you.

It’s the leadership, not you. Very often, no matter how good your strategy and tactics are, your organization’s leadership won’t acknowledge the benefits. There are at least 300 reasons for this, but it’s mostly that leaders are humans who don’t like change or risk. They have plenty of things to think about other than your idea. Further, they aren’t in enough pain to consider anything other than the status quo. These factors have nothing to do with the validity of your idea or your value to the organization.
Break everything you do down to the smallest level. Let’s say your boss continues to ignore your latest great idea that absolutely will bring more business to your company. Instead of telling yourself that nothing you do matters because the leadership hasn’t executed your plan, start thinking small. Think about the smallest tasks you do without blinking an eye. For example, because you enter information into the company’s database accurately and promptly, your boss and coworkers will never look foolish because an important client is accidentally left out of a critical information loop, and the chance that a name is misspelled on a letter vanishes because of you. So even though the boss didn’t respond to your big new idea for winning business, you’re still doing valuable work by getting the basics in place.
Forget “the company” as a whole. Focus on how much you help individuals. I know a lot of corporate lawyers. This type of law, where you’re the highly paid suit defending the big, bad Goliath against the innocent David, could grind your soul to dust if you let it. But the happiest corporate lawyers I know are those who relate to their clients as individuals, not corporations. They relate to the case worker, the claims adjuster, or the insured person they’re representing. They don’t think about helping the corporation as much as they think about helping the humans involved in the case. That’s a healthy way to view your work.
Create your own posse. Go to them when you need an emotional boost. If you are like so many overachievers, you are the one with broad shoulders, the one who listens constantly to your co-workers’ travails. But you can’t be that – and only that – all the time. Sometimes you need a little help, too. When you need support and affirmation, look outside yourself to your trusted posse. They will look you right in the eye and tell you how professionally valuable you are to them and to your company. Even if you’re accustomed to being on the listening side of that conversation and don’t want to switch, do it anyway. This isn’t weak on your part; it’s smart.

Mistakes, Anyone?

2010-03-11T14:37:00.000-08:00

Don’t you hate that feeling when you discover you’ve made a mistake at work -- especially one that involves someone else? Now, I’m not talking about a mistake on the magnitude of somebody dying. I’m talking about the kinds of mistakes we’ve all made: a partner’s misspelled name in the widely-distributed collateral piece you developed, an ill-considered forwarded email containing all manner of things you don’t want people to read, a fan letter with damning-but-funny details about a well-known firm that gets published in the local business paper.

Sadly, I’m intimately familiar with all of these. But I’m not alone. You’ve probably made similar mistakes. Here’s what the wisest among us know: it’s going to happen. Mistakes are inevitable if you live and work long enough. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re just not trying hard enough and probably living a very dull professional life.

So. You’ve made a mistake. What now? From experience, here’s my advice:

Keep your perspective. Ask yourself, “Did anyone die?”. If not, take a deep breath. Clear your head. Decide what happens next.
If the mistake involves someone else (i.e., if you have hurt or inconvenienced or embarrassed someone), tell them what happened immediately. Often, the aggrieved party will know of your mistake before you know about it and will, undoubtedly, alert you. Either way, you need to take charge of the situation.
Tell the person how sorry you are about the error and that you will fix it if you can. Then try like hell to fix it. If you can’t fix it, tell them why. But for heaven’s sake, communicate – starting with the apology.
Ah, the apology. Do it in person unless they’re on the other side of the country. At least pick up the phone. That’s right: stop typing that “I’m sorry” email. Don’t even think about it. Here’s why: if you’re really sorry, you need to be sure the aggrieved party understands that and can see it in your eyes or hear it in your voice. This is the best way to restore trust between you. Besides, if the aggrieved party happens to be a truly evil creature, they’re less likely to begin (or continue) the scorched-earth email string that alerted you to your error. I’ve found it’s much tougher for people to be nasty face to face.
Finally, take a post-drama minute and figure out what you can learn from your snafu. Do you need to be more thorough? Do you need to get someone else to proofread your materials? Do you need to zip your lips more often? What can you learn so you don’t make the same mistake again? It’s ok to make a mistake, but it’s not ok to make the same one repeatedly.

Mistakes are part of professional life, but you can’t be defined by them. It’s how you recover and what you learn that matters most.

Build Trust With a Few Keystrokes

2010-03-04T08:43:00.000-08:00

Facebook. LinkedIn. Twitter. Email. Snail mail. Cell phone. Land line. It’s enough stimulation to make anybody crazy. But crazy or not, we are very often obliged to respond.

Now, some of this stuff is drivel and you can ignore it without much consequence. Friend requests from the guy you never liked in high school, tweets about god-knows-what, and the ever-present offers from your insurance agent can immediately drop off your radar.

But clients, vendors, referral sources, and colleagues — those who are directly and indirectly responsible for your success — deserve a response. To ignore them is to insult them, even if you didn’t mean to. So when you don’t have an answer to their question or concern immediately, it is wise to leave a voice mail or email, anyway. Try these words: “I got your message. I’ll get back to you as soon as I know something.”

When you don’t respond or delay your response for too long, the person who contacted you may make negative assumptions: He hates me. I did a bad job. She’s always been a jerk. I never did like her, anyway. Loss of trust in your relationship, and therefore in you, ensues. It makes sense to avoid losing that trust…unless you really don’t care about the relationship.

Even when you are swarmed by emails, phone calls, etc., take a deep breath, prioritize the messages, then set about the task of responding with all deliberate haste. Your communicators will trust you all the more for your quick response, and it’ll be one more thing crossed off your list.

People Repellents

2010-02-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

A productive-yet-prickly lawyer resigns his position in a highly respected firm. The firm breathes a collective sigh of relief.
Two high-profile executives are relieved of their duties by their financial backers. Rumor has it, it’s because they just didn’t connect with the local market.
A long-time association chief is sent packing because his style wasn’t helping the association reach its long-term goals.

All three of these events occurred in New Mexico. The people involved all seem to have something in common: none of them understood (or, perhaps, didn’t care) how their behavior affected the people around them. They did not understand the importance of their emotional wake.

Emotional wake is what remains when we have left the room, much like Pigpen in the Peanuts comic strip. It is what either draws people to us or repels them from us. In the cases delineated here, the emotional wake was repellent.

At best, the Emotional Pigpens of the workplace do not exude any sort of warmth in their professional relationships. They are remote, icy, arms-length. They make no effort to reach out, to express the basic civilities of life, to make anyone feel uplifted or even neutral by their presence In short, they repel others.

Maybe it’s a defense mechanism for shyness. Maybe it’s a way of keeping people who might want something at bay. Maybe it’s a mistaken view of professionalism. I really don’t know their motivations for behaving as they do. But I do know this: we have nothing without relationships. No support. No legacy. No way of progressing. It’s professionally fatal to repel more people than we attract.

Leaving a positive emotional wake is incredibly easy. A smile and hello work wonders. So does eye contact. Engaging in the moment with whoever is in front of us — asking them how they’re doing and listening to the answer — is another simple step. Saying thank you and meaning it. It’s nothing more than basic civility. It’s also smart business.

Execute, Execute, Execute

2010-02-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

No, I’m not talking about your partners, clients, or employees. I’m talking about executing your duties without delay. I’m talking about doing what you have agreed to do. And I’m talking about myself as much as anyone else.

When I have trouble getting off the dime, here’s the conversation in my head:

Productive Me: “Melinda, get your fanny in gear and do something. You have multiple deadlines this week.”

Whiny Me: “What are you talking about? Clearly, you have no idea how busy I am. You don’t understand how many times I’m interrupted during the day and how much I have on my plate.”

Productive Me: “You’re a whiner. Shut up and do something.”

It occurs to me that we all have this conversation, because we’re all in the same busy boat. But I’m betting that our customers, clients, colleagues and employees just don’t care about our full plates. We have been talking about how busy we all are for so long it’s beginning to lose its meaning (much like the word “awesome”, as discussed in my previous post).

If I am not meeting commitments I made, I simply can’t get away with whining and not expect consequences: lost credibility, lost clients, lost opportunities. In the time I spend complaining about how busy I am, I absolutely could have completed one task – maybe more. Being busy has become a very poor excuse for not getting the job done.

So, for those of us who want the Productive Me’s to rule the day: let’s block our emails and silence our phones for a couple of hours. Let’s ask colleagues not to disturb us unless the building is on fire. Let’s start with one task — preferably one that we can complete easily. Then complete it. Then let’s do another one. And another. Eventually getting things done — one task at a time, because multitasking is crazy — will become as ingrained as complaining about our workloads.

Want Better Ideas? Put Your Blinders On.

2010-02-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

Most people will urge a group that's trying to create something new to throw caution to the wind, to allow any thought to be heard, to leap out of their comfort zone. I beg to differ. I believe that the most powerful communication between people, whether one to one, or one to many, occurs only when everyone is intently focused on the communication taking place. There can be no distractions, no mental wandering. If you want a truly productive meeting, I say put your blinders on.

I have been turning these thoughts around in my head because I recently facilitated a planning session for a trade association. They needed to create goals for the next year and a strategy to achieve those goals, and they only had four hours to do it. To tell the end of the story at the beginning: it was a tremendously productive half day session that resulted in a concrete plan, complete with what they would do, who would be the responsible party, and when the deadline would be.

I have facilitated hundreds of planning sessions over my career, and this was one of the most effective. It took me a little while to figure out why, because I’m suspicious when things go so well. The answer finally came to me: the people in that room brought their A-game to the meeting and left their Blackberries in their briefcases. They were – to a person – interested in and committed to the goals set out in that conference room. They wanted the best for their association, and they were willing to focus on the task at hand to get it.

There were no under-the-table texts sent. No wandering in and out to take a call. No whispered sidebars. No daydreaming. All the extraneous noise that we live with every minute of the day was, for just four little hours, filtered out. It was remarkable and rare. And exceedingly productive.

Having an effective facilitator helps, of course. But the meeting participants were ready to pull in the same direction from the moment they walked in, and the results showed it. So, next time you’re running a meeting or simply participating in one, bring your focus and ask everyone else to do the same. The earth will not stop spinning on its axis if emails and phone calls and personal agendas are briefly put on hold.

Professionalism is Awesome

2010-01-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know me are laughing already, because you know how much I dislike the word “awesome”. It is so ubiquitous that it’s lost all meaning. I dare you to count how many times you hear that word in one day.

Professionalism is headed in the same direction as awesome. We hear it thrown around constantly in board rooms, partner retreats, proposal pitches, and employee evaluations. Interestingly, we often hear it used in its negative connotation, as in “Roger’s behavior at the office party was soooo unprofessional.” Why?

Most business people haven’t put enough thought into what professionalism really means. Recently, I have. Yesterday I conducted a workshop on professionalism for a group of CPAs, most of them in their 20’s and 30’s. Much of what we discussed was new territory for them. Here’s what they discovered, among other things:

Professionals know the boss isn’t their mom or dad, and their company isn’t their family. They realize that their special deal at work affects every other team member and the business as a whole. Whether they are asking for extended leave to go trekking in Tibet or they need to take off every Thursday at 3:00 to coach their kid’s basketball team, professionals know their absence leaves a hole in the workplace. They know somebody has to pick up their slack. They know how important it is to help the boss say yes to their proposal by creating a scenario under which it will work.
Professionals take the initiative. They take the initiative in developing business, getting their work done, meeting deadlines, assuming new responsibilities, managing their careers, and resolving conflict.
Professionals have a long view. They realize that bumps in the professional road are not the same as very high walls. They can take a deep breath and keep going in the face of obstacles, rather than giving up or pitching a fit. They also know that whatever little irritating incident arose at work today is exactly that: a little irritating incident. They know what’s worth dwelling on (very little) and what they can let roll by them (most office drama).

There were plenty of surprised and thoughtful expressions in the room as we began uncovering the real meaning of professionalism. I’m pretty sure some had never once considered many of descriptions we developed in our time together. Let’s hope I helped them begin to see a broader view of professionalism than their previous, undoubtedly more awesome perspective.

Leaders: Yammer On!

2010-01-22T16:01:00.000-08:00

The January 16th New York Times had a great interview about leadership with Cristóbal Conde, president and C.E.O. of SunGard, a software and I.T. services company. It’s worth reading for all of you who are leaders, who think you are leaders, or want to be leaders. A few highlights from the interview:

PowerPoint doesn’t cut it. It often covers up sloppy thinking. My take: PowerPoint is also boring. I stopped using it in presentations years ago, because I realized how much I dislike being in an audience where the speaker read to me. I already know how to read, and I immediately disengage. Death By PowerPoint just isn’t pretty.

A cool new technology (at least, new to me) is on the market: Yammer. It’s sort of like Twitter, but better for use inside an organization. The way SunGard uses it – particularly to get employees talking to each other about customer issues – is one of the best adaptations of technology I’ve read about recently.

Leadership is changing. Instead of command-and-control, leadership is about enabling and enhancing collaboration at all levels. Information is accessible to everyone all the time, and it’s the great equalizer in today’s workplace. So leaders have to figure out how to motivate and mobilize and recognize employees in a much flatter organization. It’s a whole different way of thinking, and it’s going to change how companies operate.

Haiti

2010-01-18T14:12:00.000-08:00

This blog is supposed to be about communication, business, and leadership. All these pale in importance to the living, breathing, nightmarish hell that is Haiti after the earthquake.

I just watched a CBS video of Katie Couric on the Huffington Post site. More than anything I have seen, it personalizes and simplifies the horror that ensues when people with nothing lose absolutely everything.

You may be weary of the pathos by now. I hope that doesn’t stop you from reaching into your wallets. Send your money to any of the myriad organizations that are doing good works in Haiti. Here are just three:

www.americares.org

www.doctorswithoutborders.org

www.redcross.org

If you’re like me, you dislike being preached at or told what to do. I hope you don’t perceive this as such. I also hope that, if you needed a little nudge to click and donate, this is it.

A Positive Identity Crisis

2010-01-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me recently whether I had any hobbies. That simple question sparked a whole conversation in my head that started with:

Hmm. What DO I do for fun?

Which was immediately followed by

What do I do, really, as a motivator and communicator?

Which, of course (as only the truly anxiety ridden will understand), quickly led to

Who am I?

I know! Hideous line of thinking, isn’t it?

I realized that I define myself more by what I DON’T do and by what I’m NOT than by what I do and who I am. Examples: I don’t smoke or drink. I don’t eat junk. I don’t like groups (unless, of course, I’m in front of them). I don’t like phoniness, whether in humans or gemstones. I don’t respect authority for authority’s sake.

Kind of negative, really. So I started thinking: what if I took these statements and rephrased them? Have a look:

Negative	Positive
I don’t smoke or drink.	I enjoy having a clear mind and healthy body.
I don’t eat junk.	I like to eat good food, and lots of it.
I don’t like groups.	I love the company of close friends.
I don’t like phoniness, whether in humans or gemstone.	The genuine, authentic personalities I’m lucky enough to encounter make me glad to be alive. Genuine diamonds make me glad I’m female.
I don’t respect authority for authority’s sake.	I love working with people when we’re standing on a level playing field.

You get the gist here. In case I’m not the only person defining herself narrowly and in the negative, I suggest y’all go through a similar exercise. Choose more positive words to describe your life, your work, and your relationships. See how you feel when you’ve done it. Does it change the conversations in your head? Are they better, more positive, maybe even more useful?

I wonder if changing the words we use to describe ourselves, both internally and to others, could lead to more happiness, which Harvard Medical School has proven to be contagious.

Imagine how much more pleasant and productive it would be to live and work among happier people. If this exercise is a good step, let’s all take it.

Professional Parents

2009-12-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

A couple of my clients, owners of a CPA firm, were complaining about young professionals recently. Their issues fell mostly into the “not behaving professionally” arena: texting friends or visiting Facebook at work, arriving late, leaving early, ignoring client needs. If you work with Millennials (those born after 1980), you know the drill.

When I suggested it was possible the young folks didn’t know they were doing anything wrong, the partners scoffed. They’ve been told multiple times, the partners said, and they’re just not listening. The only time they shape up is when the partners get angry, and then the behavior changes are only temporary.

At this point, I started smiling, because these partners sounded exactly like two parents complaining about their kids. When they said “We shouldn’t have to tell them more than once about these issues!”, I could only ask this:

“How many times did you teach the same lessons, over and over, to your own children?” Whether it related to doing homework, getting ready for school on time, doing the dishes, or cleaning their rooms, I know every single American parent gave more than one, two, or three instructions.

It’s no different in the workplace. You have to give clear, consistent instruction. And you have to do it seemingly ad nauseum. You can’t just have conversations about it, either. At some point, there have to be consequences for non-productive behavior as it is defined by your organization’s leadership - not necessarily as defined by the Millennials themselves.

Sound a lot like your parenting days? Absolutely. Better accept it now: those of you who own and manage companies that employ young people are, indeed, repeating your roles as moms and dads. Of course, your employees are not your children; you can fire them if you don’t want to teach them. But that could get really expensive.

Smart owners, partners and managers understand they may have to start Millennial employees from square one when it comes to behaving professionally. So stop complaining, start teaching, and teach every day. Just like your own kids, these young workers will grow up. They will learn from you if you become the instructor you need to be.

Don’t Be a Weenie

2009-12-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

The holidays usually provide opportunities for communications weirdness, and this year was no exception. I had an experience this season that was very instructive, both personally and professionally. The details of the conversation are unimportant; suffice it to say it was difficult. It involved my need to communicate expectations and emotions in a way that had some chance of being heard by others (i.e., not yelling, babbling, or crying).

The most important realization on my part was that, when it comes to communication, I – like most of us – can be a complete weenie. I don’t want to upset the apple cart; I don’t want anyone to be angry at me; I just want everyone to make nice. So I usually let things slide, and in doing that, I swallow gallons of resentment and, in my imagination, chew on nails of blistering verbal retribution. As it turns out, though, you can teach an old broad new tricks. Just this once, I was not a weenie. I said what needed saying, and I said it clearly, with the right tone, in the right place, to the right people. I hope what I have learned from this experience will help you. Here are the highlights:

Difficult conversations require courage. You have to make up your mind to express yourself usefully. You have to initiate communication, because those on the other side will most likely not invite your thoughts. This means you have to stop being a weenie. You have to let go of worrying about what people will think of you if you speak up. As one of my wise, non-weenie friends, often says: “What other people think of me is none of my business.”. Non-weenies aren’t jerks; they’re people who know how to express themselves clearly, and who have the courage to deal with difficult issues.
When you do speak up, address only the people you need to address. Do it privately. Don’t gripe to others about how you have been victimized, irritated, or otherwise wronged. That’s the ultimate weenie behavior.
Burn up the negative energy you’re feeling before you speak. Take a brisk walk (mine, I can tell you, was a record-setter); do some pushups; meditate. Whatever you do to get centered and clear your head, do it and then have your conversation.
Understand that speaking up doesn’t give you the right to be hurtful. It’s your right to declare yourself, but it isn’t your right to hurl invective. Words can be tools or weapons; it’s your choice. Have the mental and emotional discipline to choose wisely.
Once you’ve said what you had to say, you can either allow room for debate or you can end the communication. That depends on your goal. If you want to hear what the other side has to say, wait. Want an apology or explanation? Ask for it. If you don’t, say so. Close the conversation. Shake hands, hug, smile, do whatever is appropriate for the situation.
Then – and this is the most important part – let go. Let go of the hurt, the insult, whatever it was that caused the immediate problem. Start again with those who made the mistake. I guess this is some form of forgiveness, though not that dramatic. It is at least a way of wiping the slate clean in hopes of everyone getting it right the next time.

Here’s what I found: in refusing to be a weenie, I was liberated from cherishing any grudges or cradling any hurt. Being a non-weenie opened a place in my mind and heart where I could feel good, and not just for being courageous: I also created space to feel good about my relationship with the people I had to talk to. After all, they agreed to hear what I had to say. That couldn’t have been easy.

Just imagine how much less drama would be created in the home and workplace if we initiated difficult conversations and saw them through to a reasonable conclusion -- if we chose not to be weenies. That strikes me as a pretty good goal for the new year.

Want to feel better? Count your blessings. Literally.

2009-12-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

I had the most interesting experience today. Like all of us, except maybe Wall Streeters, I’m dealing with a variety of stressors. It’s holiday season, my schedule is full of activities and commitments, some clients need my help and others don’t want it, and family obligations are coming into play. Sound familiar?

Instead of focusing on the stressors today, I chose to sit down for five minutes. In that five minutes, I was determined to find ten things for which I am grateful and to think about only those ten things. You can call it meditation, prayer, navel-gazing, whatever, but that’s what I did.

It felt strange at first to think so concretely about gratitude. My thoughts began with being grateful for concrete stuff, like the doctor figuring out what’s wrong with my foot and my dog not chewing up the newest bath mat. I’m a very small thinker.

When I had thought of four things, I had to push a little, mentally. I came up with another two, slightly loftier, things to be grateful for. And that’s when the strangest thing happened. By the time I reached six things, the floodgates opened. My mind was filled with rapid-fire thoughts, all of them about gratitude. As I allowed these thoughts to pass through my mind, I felt my energy rise and my attitude improve. Quite literally, I had to force myself to stop thinking grateful thoughts so I wouldn’t be late for a meeting.

I speak about gratitude quite often as part of a presentation I do on P.A.C.T., which is a set of communication tools and behaviors I developed (you can read the related articles entitled Firing on All Cylinders here). But I have never experienced the power of gratitude thinking quite as physically as I did today.

It would be useful for all of us to take five minutes at work to sit down and count what we’re grateful for in our careers. If you can’t commit to ten things, try to think of five. You might be surprised to find there are more than that if you leave your mind open to the possibility.

One thing is sure: this mental exercise will make you feel better than a visit to the candy machine or coffee shop. My bet is your higher energy and more open mind will be positively reflected in your behaviors and attitudes. That’s a good thing for you, your co-workers, and your customers.

Don't Lie to Your Customers (Even If They Work for You)

2009-12-01T10:07:00.000-08:00

The New York Times is my favorite newspaper. I grew up on the Washington Post, but converted to the Times when they went electronic. Far and away, it’s the best newspaper web site out there.

But there’s just one thing: they lied to me. As I was reading the other day, I got a pop-up asking me if I wanted to participate in a brief survey that, the message said, would help the newspaper improve its site. While I normally don’t respond to pop-ups, I did so this time because I truly wanted to help the Times do better. It’s in my best interests as a reader. Happy to help.

Well. Within 30 seconds I knew my beloved Times was lying to me. The survey wasn’t brief, and it wasn’t designed to help the newspaper improve. It was a survey on brand awareness for one of the Times advertisers. I’m not interested in helping the Times advertisers. I’m not interested in doing what I estimated to be a 15-minute survey in the middle of reading the paper. So I clicked out. What do you think the chances are that I’ll ever respond to a Times pop-up again? Zilch.

I wonder how many of us are lying to our customers and employees about our abilities, our services, or our culture. Not necessarily intentionally, but lying all the same. If we can’t back up our marketing and advertising with skill and competency, that’s lying. If we don’t serve our customers well, but say we do, that’s lying. And if we really don’t have a high-trust corporate culture but we say we do, that’s still lying. You get my drift.

Some people might call this kind of lying “spinning” or “putting things in the best light” or maybe “aspirational messaging.” It’s still not true. Far better to tell the truth about who we are and what we do and the environment in which we do it. At least then, the consumer (either as buyer or potential employee) can make an informed decision and be held accountable for that decision. Anything else is just not truthful.

The Beauty of Slow Listening

2009-11-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

We know effective communication is as much about listening as it is about talking. I had an insight recently about how people listen. I was talking on the phone to my brilliant and creative web site designer, Steve Levine of Splash Communications. As I continued to trip over his responses to my questions, I realized that Steve is what I call a slow listener. He was listening to every word I said, processing it, assessing it, and formulating his always cogent response. It was driving me crazy. And then it hit me. This is why he designed such a great web site: because he asked a whole bunch of difficult questions and then actually listened, slowly, to every bit of my answers. He remembered everything I said, and he applied what he learned from his slow listening to the web site design. As a result, he pretty much nailed the design on the first take.

Many people are fast listeners, meaning they anticipate (or think they can anticipate) what the speaker is going to say. Those of us who are fast listeners process information very quickly, but not always accurately. In the end, we figure everything out, but it often takes more words to get to the same point as a slow listener would. So the speed of the verbal transaction ends up being about the same.

It’s the quality of the transaction that's in question with fast and slow listening. Here's what I've learned: when I slow my listening pace to match Steve’s, the conversation is much easier. We exchange the information we need to exchange, it’s smooth and pleasant (no tripping or backtracking), and we cover each topic completely and accurately.

I find it’s also more respectful when I’m not interrupting him all the time. If I slow down my own listening speed, my life gets easier and better, because I actually get to hear and consider every word. What a concept.

If you’re a fast listener, try an experiment. Find a slow listener and have a conversation where you consciously choose to slow your listening pace. Don’t anticipate what he might say. Don’t have your answer ready. Listen to every word. Wait for the end of his sentence. Savor his words for a while. Tumble them around in your brain. Then, and only then, respond. I hope you will find, as I did, that the conversation takes about the same amount of time it would have with your fast listening, but is much richer -- and probably more productive -- as a result of the slower pace.

Change? Why?

2009-11-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

A gracious hello -

In the absence of major trauma, people don’t change their essential personalities. We are who we have nearly always been. Some days, I think organizations' essential personalities don't change, either -- even when they need to.

If my work has taught me anything, though, it is that no one -- absolutely no one -- is unidimensional. Each of us is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses, any of which can be enhanced or suppressed in particular environments.

Most corporate cultures seem to be designed to constrain and contain behavior rather than develop the very best elements of a person's nature. Systems, processes, and cultural values that play to employee strengths strike me as more productive than those that try to do nothing more than maintain a status quo.

It makes sense to study your employees and partners as individuals, not as productivity units or cells in a spreadsheet. When you examine their strengths and consider how they can be developed and applied, you'll begin to think differently about your business. You will see how it's possible to concoct a potent brew of characteristics that can make your business more productive.

Knowing everyone's strengths, and commiting to their development, allows you to determine how best to balance the mix so you bring out only the most positive, productive behaviors. When you do that, you'll be doing something rare, wonderful, and ultimately profitable: changing your organization's essential nature for the better.

Welcome

2009-11-07T11:51:00.000-08:00

A gracious hello ~

Welcome to my very first blog post. I hope you will enjoy reading and responding to the thoughts and information planted here as much as I will enjoy writing them.

Since the professional world I live in is based on human behavior in organizations and the communication skills we bring to those organizations, you can expect to find that type of information here. You will also find questions from me, because particularly when it comes to human behavior, I surely have more questions than answers.

I hope you will join me in posting information civilly and clearly. There's enough nastiness flying around the Internet; we don't need this blog to contribute to it. All of you who have followed my thinking and writing know how much I value practicality, particularly when it is wrapped in optimism and kindess. May we have fierce, stimulating, professional discussions on this blog, and may we remember we are all subject to human emotion. I ask you to think before you post.

I can't wait to see how our conversations develop. I hope we can help each other in our quest to build better organizations, develop stronger professional relationships, and find happiness in our day to day working lives.