How to Get What You Need From Employees

Clients regularly ask me why they can’t get employees to meet deadlines, produce great (or even good) work, and provide value to customers. There is rarely a simple answer, but I can come close to one: lack of clarity when giving instructions and expressing expectations. Here are a few tips to help you get what you need:

Ban ASAP. Give clear time frames for everything. When, specifically, do you need work completed and on your desk? What day? What time? Asking anyone to do anything “as soon as possible” obliterates clarity. If something is truly an emergency, say so and explain why. Only by explaining the circumstances do you have a right to blow up someone else’s schedule.

Forget annual reviews. Move to real-time analysis. Review performance with your team member immediately after she’s done something you can evaluate. Be clear about what the team member did well and where she needs to improve. Stop worrying about delivering harsh news. Deliver clear information instead. Your team member might feel the sting, but smart, ambitious employees will take your information to heart and apply it to their next effort.

When someone messes up, deal with it promptly.  You don’t have the luxury of being emotional about whatever occurred, so be sure you are calm and collected. Remember, though, that in dealing with behavioral problems, sooner is better than later. Tell the team member how you perceive the problem, what he needs to do to fix the problem, and by when. Tell him the consequences if he doesn’t fix the problem. Be specific about the seriousness of the error. Is this a firing offense? Will it slow the team member’s career progress? Will he find himself isolated if he continues doing things the same way? 

Clear communication requires disciplined thought and skillful execution. It requires you to understand why you are communicating something in the first place and how best to do it. And it very often requires courage. All of this is difficult, but it sure beats the alternative.

Six Minutes on Motivation

One of the best things about my work is that I get to associate with really smart people, which is precisely what I did at the Verasage Institute's conference on pricing for professionals in Las Vegas. 

The last morning of the conference, Verasage guru Ron Baker invited/challenged me to do a six-minute talk on the topic of my choice. I turned him down at first, and had plenty of excuses. "I'm not prepared." "I'm dressed for traveling, not speaking."  "I'm not tall enough." Yes, I actually thought that. What it came down to, of course, was the fear of looking ridiculous.

Finally, though, my desire to be heard overcame my fear. Here is the result: six minutes on the true nature of motivation. I hope you enjoy it and find it useful.  

The next time somebody offers you an opportunity, maybe you'll remember this video and be motivated to scare yourself just a little. 

Nobody Wants to Be the Bad Guy

Recently, I presented a session on mentoring to a group of CPA firm leaders, all of whom were women. During our discussion, the issue of a lack of honest communication between mentor and protege arose. To a person, these partners and soon-to-be partners agreed that mentor programs do not come close to reaching their full potential because the mentors (in other words, the women in that room) do not speak forthrightly to their proteges. When I asked why, they said, “Because nobody wants to be the bad guy.” 

I can think of few greater wastes of time than a meaningless mentoring program. It does such a disservice to a young person’s future when we are unclear in our discussions about their path, performance, or plans. Such fuzzy communication doesn’t do our own integrity any favors, either.

As mentors and leaders, we must commit to practicing Melinda’s Four Cs of Communication: 

• Consistency
• Clarity
• Civility
• Courage

Pay attention to that last word, courage. It means fighting the slightly sick feeling in our stomachs when we have to deliver less-than-cheery assessments. It means encountering, and maybe causing,  a measure of pain in another person. It means dealing with emotions — your own and someone else’s. 

However, these challenges are only temporary. They are far outweighed by the increase in trust and meaning between you and your protege. If you think in terms of creating an artful stew of constructive advice with kindness and clarity at the root of your intent, you can change lives.  

Whatever a “bad guy” is, it simply cannot be someone who truly wants to help another person succeed. Keep that in mind the next time you are mentoring. Let go of your fear. You and your protege will be better for the effort.

Three Easy Ways to Communicate Better

No matter how many conversations I have with business people, when I ask them what the biggest issue is for their organizations, the answer is almost always the same: communication. Part of me breathes a sigh of relief, because improving communication is what I do for a living. But part of me thinks, Man, this stuff is so simple. Why aren’t people better at it?

 Solid, reliable, simple communication really comes down to three things:

1. Use your face, not your fingers. Email, texting, and other forms of written electronic communication are killing communication. I can’t tell you how many clients I deal with who tell me about the hurt feelings, squabbles, and escalated tension that occur as a result of poorly written and poorly understood emails. If business owners were to translate this into dollars, there would almost certainly be an increase in executive heart attacks. The solution is simple: get out from behind your keyboard and go lay your eyes on people. Have a real conversation. And don’t use distance as an excuse. That’s why telephones, Skype and Facetime exist. It’s not the same as real human contact, but it’s a heck of a lot better than an email.
2. Don’t say or write mean things about anybody, anywhere, anytime. It’s both wrong and stupid. Your mother taught you better. Follow her advice. Even hard truths can be discussed in a way that strips them of meanness. It takes skill, practice, and discipline, but it’s worth it.
3. .Show up as yourself. It’s very odd to watch someone morph into another personality when he feels he has to be lawyer-y or academic or or leader-y. It’s as though he becomes a different person, and it’s obvious to everyone but him. It’s inauthentic behavior, and people know it when they see it. Just be your normal self all the time. And by that I mean your best normal, not your cranky, demanding, narcissistic normal. Be comfortable in your own (best) skin.

Now that I think about it, maybe this is a good way to increase happiness, too. 

Choosing Your Response to Negativity

Last week presented me with a terrific learning experience. I spent the day teaching a workshop to a department of a large organization. Like the organization itself, this department has faced several years of budget cuts, all the while serving an increasingly large population. This, of course, translates into doing more with fewer resources. As a result, the team was greatly fatigued, and their coping strategies had negatively affected their internal communication. 

The workshop went well, with plenty of lively discussion, creativity, some disagreement here and there, and lots of good energy. By the end of our time together, the team had developed a framework that defined how they will treat each other going forward. They were upbeat and energized, ready to implement the new standards they had set for themselves.

Except one person, who we’ll call Mildred. Mildred made a special effort to pull me aside at the end of the session. In my ear, Mildred whispered, “Nothing you have done today will make a difference. Nothing will change here.” As I recount this, I can actually recall the hiss in her voice. She seemed absolutely delighted to relay her assessment of the day to me.

My initial response was disappointment in myself that I had failed to reach Mildred’s mind or heart. As I saw it, my skills were not a match for her attitude. But after a few days of thinking about it, I understand her a little better and have a more productive response than disappointment. I hope my insights will help you the next time you encounter someone else’s fear or negativity.

1. It’s probably not about you or your skill. Mildred was afraid, and through her negative message to me, she was expressing her fear. Maybe she’s afraid of change, maybe she’s afraid of kindness (a big topic at our session), maybe she’s afraid of losing influence within her team. I don’t know for sure. But I do know that in talking to me, she was expressing her fear far more than she was assessing the workshop or my ability.
2. Let the majority rule your mind. When you receive a negative response to an idea, remember to consider what others have said about that idea. At the end of my session, the vast majority of attendees were energized, optimistic, and ready to face the future as a team. They expressed gratitude to me, both individually and as a group. It was only Mildred who sought me out specifically to share her negative view. When this happens to you, it’s crucial to keep in mind the positive responses of others.
3. Be flexible about the future; let others remain fixed if they so choose. Mildred had already decided what the future would be, and so it’s likely she will create that scenario for herself. My hope is that the new-found energy and optimism of her colleagues will override her negativity, but I simply don’t know. I choose to view the future positively; it’s fine if all you can conjure up is neutrality. However, I have no doubt at all that holding a negative perspective on the future makes it far more likely that negative outcomes will occur.

I feel truly lucky to have met Mildred, because she gave me the opportunity to test my own outlook and to share my insights with you. I suppose the biggest insight, then is that even in experiencing someone’s negativity up-close-and-personal, there’s plenty of room for gratitude and optimism.

Lessons from Goldman Sachs: The Corporate Culture Disconnect

Goldman Sachs got a black eye this week when Greg Smith, a mid-level executive at the brokerage firm not only resigned, but published an op-ed piece in the New York Times outlining his reasons for leaving. Mr. Smith cited Goldman Sachs’s culture of greed and utter disregard for the best interests of its clients. 

Not surprisingly, this very public display of dissatisfaction has generated plenty of discussion about corporate culture on Wall Street. I hope it also has the effect of generating discussion within your firms about your corporate culture. After all, it’s better -- and less costly -- to learn from someone else’s mistakes.

Here are a few ways to avoid the cultural disconnect that appears to exist at Goldman:

1. Don’t believe your own hype. Every organization I’m aware of boasts about its corporate culture on its website, at seminars, in recruiting collaterals, everywhere. All too often, the words are taken as gospel, with no regard for how individual behaviors actually create or destroy a culture. Look at your firm culture with a critical eye. If you and yours can’t do it objectively, hire an outsider to do it for you. Whatever you do, don’t assume that because it is written, it is true.
2. Check in regularly with those who create and sustain your culture: your team members. Use every method at your disposal, from dashboard “high satisfaction day” inputs to surveys to a casual conversation over a cup of coffee. Do this more than you think you have time for and would enjoy. You may discover valuable information that’ll make it worth your effort.
3. Treat your clients and team members with respect. No exceptions. When you are cordial to a client on the telephone, only to hang up and have a hissy fit about that stupid, entitled #!?*-ing client, you’re sending a very confusing message to those who work with you. You’re also taking the risk that the client will hear about it on Twitter, Facebook, or some other way -- within minutes.

Most important, do the right things for the right reasons. Speak well of everyone when you can. When you can’t, take the opportunity to be silent. When you must communicate something negative, do so with skill and kindness. That’s how really great cultures are built.

Falling Down the Should-Hole: Part 2

In the last post I mentioned Albert Ellis, the psychotherapist who was known for his disdain for “shoulding.” I talked about shoulding on others in that post. Now, we need to talk about shoulding on yourself, as in:

• “I should be making more money.”
• “I shouldn’t have said that to my boss.”
• “I should have handled my employee better than I did.”

Shoulding on yourself is as unproductive as shoulding on others. It’s a waste of time and energy, because you give yourself no alternative to the should. There’s nothing proactive or well thought-out about “should.” It just sits there in your mind, judgmental and incomplete. Useless.

But if you simply must should on yourself, and we all do from time to time, I recommend simply extending the conversation beyond your initial statement. For example, instead of just saying, “I should be making more money,” take the conversation in your head farther. “Really? What makes me think I should be making more money, especially in this economy? Has anyone else been making a ton of money lately? How is my situation different from all these other people?”  

Answering these questions allows you to gather important data, which allows you to make informed decisions and act on them. If you’re anything like I am, the question-and-answer process will relieve you of a bunch of negative self-talk about whatever challenge you’re facing. When you stop should-ing on yourself, you get more clarity. And that’s how you find a path leading out of the should-hole and toward positive change.