Nov 18, 2009

The Beauty of Slow Listening

We know effective communication is as much about listening as it is about talking. I had an insight recently about how people listen. I was talking on the phone to my brilliant and creative web site designer, Steve Levine of Splash Communications. As I continued to trip over his responses to my questions, I realized that Steve is what I call a slow listener. He was listening to every word I said, processing it, assessing it, and formulating his always cogent response. It was driving me crazy. And then it hit me. This is why he designed such a great web site: because he asked a whole bunch of difficult questions and then actually listened, slowly, to every bit of my answers. He remembered everything I said, and he applied what he learned from his slow listening to the web site design. As a result, he pretty much nailed the design on the first take.

Many people are fast listeners, meaning they anticipate (or think they can anticipate) what the speaker is going to say. Those of us who are fast listeners process information very quickly, but not always accurately. In the end, we figure everything out, but it often takes more words to get to the same point as a slow listener would. So the speed of the verbal transaction ends up being about the same.

It’s the quality of the transaction that's in question with fast and slow listening. Here's what I've learned: when I slow my listening pace to match Steve’s, the conversation is much easier. We exchange the information we need to exchange, it’s smooth and pleasant (no tripping or backtracking), and we cover each topic completely and accurately.

I find it’s also more respectful when I’m not interrupting him all the time. If I slow down my own listening speed, my life gets easier and better, because I actually get to hear and consider every word. What a concept.

If you’re a fast listener, try an experiment. Find a slow listener and have a conversation where you consciously choose to slow your listening pace. Don’t anticipate what he might say. Don’t have your answer ready. Listen to every word. Wait for the end of his sentence. Savor his words for a while. Tumble them around in your brain. Then, and only then, respond. I hope you will find, as I did, that the conversation takes about the same amount of time it would have with your fast listening, but is much richer -- and probably more productive -- as a result of the slower pace.

Nov 10, 2009

Change? Why?

A gracious hello -

In the absence of major trauma, people don’t change their essential personalities. We are who we have nearly always been. Some days, I think organizations' essential personalities don't change, either -- even when they need to.

If my work has taught me anything, though, it is that no one -- absolutely no one -- is unidimensional. Each of us is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses, any of which can be enhanced or suppressed in particular environments.

Most corporate cultures seem to be designed to constrain and contain behavior rather than develop the very best elements of a person's nature. Systems, processes, and cultural values that play to employee strengths strike me as more productive than those that try to do nothing more than maintain a status quo.

It makes sense to study your employees and partners as individuals, not as productivity units or cells in a spreadsheet. When you examine their strengths and consider how they can be developed and applied, you'll begin to think differently about your business. You will see how it's possible to concoct a potent brew of characteristics that can make your business more productive.

Knowing everyone's strengths, and commiting to their development, allows you to determine how best to balance the mix so you bring out only the most positive, productive behaviors. When you do that, you'll be doing something rare, wonderful, and ultimately profitable: changing your organization's essential nature for the better.





Nov 7, 2009

Welcome

A gracious hello ~



Welcome to my very first blog post. I hope you will enjoy reading and responding to the thoughts and information planted here as much as I will enjoy writing them.

Since the professional world I live in is based on human behavior in organizations and the communication skills we bring to those organizations, you can expect to find that type of information here. You will also find questions from me, because particularly when it comes to human behavior, I surely have more questions than answers.

I hope you will join me in posting information civilly and clearly. There's enough nastiness flying around the Internet; we don't need this blog to contribute to it. All of you who have followed my thinking and writing know how much I value practicality, particularly when it is wrapped in optimism and kindess. May we have fierce, stimulating, professional discussions on this blog, and may we remember we are all subject to human emotion. I ask you to think before you post.

I can't wait to see how our conversations develop. I hope we can help each other in our quest to build better organizations, develop stronger professional relationships, and find happiness in our day to day working lives.