Marriage and Business: Not So Different

More than once, I have described partnerships as having all the disadvantages of marriage and none of the advantages. This morning, my husband and I were talking about why we have a happy marriage of nearly 22 years duration (in truth, I was talking and he was listening, which is part of what makes our marriage happy). We came up with three simple things: we love each other, we walk through this life together, and we always have each other’s backs. It occurs to me that perhaps those three things apply to happy organizations, too.

Love each other. We can apply a broad definition of love to business. Love encompasses respect, courtesy, responsibility, talking, listening, boundaries, and tenacity. All of these apply to healthy work relationships.

Walk through this life together. In marriage, this means spending plenty of time together, finding ways to enrich the relationship. It also means enduring the lows and exulting in the highs, together, sticking with it as long as love remains. As partners, employers, and employees, we can vow to walk together toward clear and unifying goals, for the duration of our relationship. We can deliberately seek out ways to strengthen the bonds between us. I believe that the more we are together, the stronger our relationships can become. Maybe that’s not “until death do us part,” but thinking this way sure beats “until a better offer comes along.”

Always have each other’s backs. No matter how much I falter, I know my husband supports me; he understands that I, too, support him the same way. We don’t always agree, and we don’t have to. But we know that presenting a unified front to the world sends very clear messages to anyone who’s paying attention. This principle applies equally well to partners and executives. You are free to disagree with each other, but when you face your employees, managers, and customers, you send a powerful message to all of them when you are united.

When you look at it this way, it becomes clear that strong relationships, whether marital or business, are similar. Assess your organization by applying these three simple principles. What you discover may help guide you to the next right action.