Being Good

We have now migrated from the Season of Thanks to the Season of Be Good or Else. Be good or Santa won't visit you. Be good or you'll get coal in your stocking. I find these exhortations about goodness to be a bit tricky, don't you? When we take the concept of goodness from the personal into the professional realm, it gets even trickier.

Following is how I perceive being good at work. Maybe it will get you thinking more specifically about goodness and how it applies in your professional life.

• Our technical expertise is a given. If we want to be good at work, we need to think more broadly.
• Goodness is in the eye of the beholder. We need to understand how other people perceive us before we can begin to demonstrate goodness. We can do that by asking those we trust to tell us what they think about our conduct.
• Being good need not be difficult or high-falutin'. It may be as simple as slowing down our mental processes long enough to have a civilized interaction with a co-worker. It may mean removing our ear buds when someone is trying to talk to us, or not taking a call at that moment. Good behavior in a work environment means taking into consideration that we are in the environment with others and we owe them courtesy and respect. Any and all simple acts that show courtesy and respect are welcome contributors to goodness in the workplace.
• Goodness feels good. Most of us know when we are behaving well and when we're not. The two actions feel completely different. One leaves us and those around us energized, while the other depletes us and those around us.
• Good behavior serves our self interests. We enjoy feeling good more than feeling bad. We generally get better feedback when we're good, which can mean more clients, more interesting work, and more financial reward.
• Goodness is contagious. I know when I am treated to someone else's good behavior, I am inclined to behave better myself. Their goodness seems to fill my good behavior tank, allowing me to demonstrate the same to others.
• One final thing I have figured out: there are few angels among us who are good all the time. Everyone, especially in stressful times like these, has moments that are less than shining. Maybe part of being good at work is giving our colleagues a break when they have one of those less-than-shiny moments.

My wish for all of us this season is that we each give and receive the gift of goodness.

Happy holidays, everyone.

Risking Gratitude

T’is the season to be thankful. Most people I know are relatively good at expressing gratitude for their own lives, health, families and such. Even those who have had a very difficult year somehow manage to understand their great good fortune in the larger scheme of things.

Most of us, though, aren’t very good at expressing gratitude to others. My clients are usually professional, often male, and frequently members of the Baby Boom generation. These clients run successful law firms, accounting firms, associations, and companies. They shoulder great burden and reap great reward.  They share their successes with team members and sometimes inspire people to do better. They’re often masterful writers of emails that thank the firm or groups within the firm.

But when it comes to giving personal, eye-to-eye thanks, they clam up. It’s not in their training or nature to look directly at someone in a quiet moment and express their genuine, heart-felt gratitude to another person. My clients feel it, I am certain; but expressing it is just so difficult for them. There can be no question that this represents a lost opportunity to do better and to feel better.

So, for those of you who carry great appreciation in your minds and hearts, I offer this: risk exposing your emotions for the short time it takes to look one person in the eye, to say thank you, and to tell that great team member how much he or she means to you and to your organization. Don’t worry about how smoothly the words come out or whether you blush. Just do it. Your employees and partners will see you at your very best: opened, maybe a little humbled, and filled with gratitude. And you, in turn, will see them at their best: opened, maybe a little humbled, and filled with gratitude.

I could go on at length about what such an act does for an organization’s culture and profitability, but I think you already know.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. As always, thank you for reading.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Recently I spoke at an international conference of CPAs and lawyers. The subject of one of the sessions was leadership. During the session, I discussed Emotional Pigpens -- people who either do not know or do not care how their behavior affects others. They create plenty of negative energy and can drain organizational vitality.

I’m accustomed to answering questions about how to deal with Emotional Pigpens, such as “I have the worst partner ever. He’s constantly demeaning, he’s an emotional vampire. How do I deal with him?” At this conference, however, I experienced something new. After my session, one of the participants came up to me and said “I’m one of those people you talked about. How do I fix the mess I’ve made?”

First of all, bless this man for waking up. I don’t know whether he realized it only when I described Emotional Pigpens, or whether he’d always known it. It doesn’t matter. The important thing is, he became aware of his behavior and its effect on those around him. He wanted to stop being an emotional pigpen and he wanted help.

So, how was he to make amends, he asked. I suggested he do it both individually and collectively, acknowledging that his behavior had been less than optimal, apologizing for that behavior, and promising to do better. I’ve had a few days since then to think more about it; perhaps the following might help him and those of you who find yourself in his position.

1. Know who needs an apology from you. If it’s not apparent to you, ask your closest confidant. He or she will know.
2. Look right into their eyes when you say you’re sorry. You don’t have to be eloquent, and you need not explain the issues that caused your misbehavior if it invades your privacy. Just say, “I’ve been awful lately, and I’m sorry. I will do better, and if I don’t do better, I want to hear from you.” Mean what you say and your listeners will feel it.
3.   Most people with whom you try to make amends are likely to accept your apology. Take comfort in that. Those who do not, or who remain skeptical, have their own timetables for such things. Let them work it out. You have done your part.
4.  Once you have apologized, and you begin to change your behavior, let yourself off the hook. Learn from your mistake and leave it behind. Don’t relive it. Move on so those around you can do the same.
5.  Be thankful that you have the courage to realize your mistake, the fortitude to make amends, and the good fortune to be forgiven.

I am grateful to the self-admitted Emotional Pigpen who came forward. Learning to say we’re sorry is not easy, but making mistakes that affect others is part of being human. Apologizing for those mistakes makes us better humans.

Is Google's Problem Your Problem?

According to an article in yesterday’s New York Times, Facebook’s “closed social network” is steadily and noticeably encroaching on Google’s territory. As a result,  “Google risks losing the competition for Web users’ time, details of their lives and, ultimately, advertising.” (Really, did you think it wouldn’t come down to money?)

Google has been and continues to be the leader in writing algorithms for internet searches.  Trouble is, the algorithms don’t work so well in social networking, because they can’t determine how humans actually make decisions or interact socially. In other words, you really can’t plug human nature into a formula.

Creating algorithms for social interaction is, in one form or another, what many businesses are trying to do. They’re having just about as much success at it as Google. Money, time, and effort are consistently spent on strategic plans that are never fully executed, business development programs that may or may not be completed or acted on, and retention tactics that often miss the mark.

These efforts fail because often they don’t consider how the humans affected will react – or, more likely, not react. A small core of people creates something that looks terrific on paper, only to have it largely ignored by the rest of the people in the organization. We humans decide mostly with our emotions: pleasure, fear, acceptance, loyalty, happiness.

Google is learning that it is difficult, if not impossible, to reduce human behavior to reliable, predicable statistics. As business owners and leaders, we can learn from Google’s travails. We can create better programs for retention, business development and just about everything else when we remember to include those whose participation is crucial to the program’s success.

We can lead our organizations more effectively when we remember that our team members are not parts of a formula, but individuals whose decision making process is a complex blend of rational, emotional, and social elements.

Five Ways to Fortify Your Culture

If a recent survey by Adecco Group is accurate, workers of all ages are beginning to explore job opportunities, with more than half of Millennial generation employees planning to look for different jobs as the economy begins to turn around. Now is a very good time for leaders to consider organizational culture as a retention tool.

With this post, I am assuming you have a strong and supportive culture but may not know how best to leverage it. Here are five ways:

1. Consistently articulate your culture. If you can do that, you can compellingly answer the question “Why should I stay here?” when your top employee asks. You can also incorporate your cultural message into marketing and recruiting collaterals, which creates consistency internally and externally.
2. Bring your personal values to work with you. Most of us view ourselves as decent, compassionate individuals who want everyone in our lives to do well and be happy. Remember that as you lead your team members – even those who challenge you – through the ups and downs of everyday business.
3. Hire for cultural fit above all else. When you know you have a great culture, keeping it great should be your top leadership priority. Hire for attitude instead of GPA, book of business, or community connections. Attitudes are absolutely viral. This works either to your organization’s benefit or detriment, depending on how you hire.
4. Reward behaviors that enhance the culture. Every day, if your culture is as good as you think it is, you’ll find someone demonstrating it. Open your eyes; when you see the real thing, reward the behavior with a simple thank you. Communicate what you know is true: that the individual exhibiting the right behavior is what makes your organization successful.
5. Get rid of those who clearly are a poor cultural fit. This seems to be the toughest thing for leaders. It often happens that the one or two bad seeds have some kind of perceived leverage on the organization. Maybe they’re great business developers. Maybe they’re excellent producers. But when they’re not making rain or crunching out billable time, they’re busy poisoning your culture. Many good people who represent your firm’s future will leave because of the poisonous minority.

I See You

That’s the line from Avatar, which I saw recently (and, yes, I’m something of a late adopter). I see you. I can’t get it out of my head because I think it has important implications for all of us who work with humans.

Regular readers and clients know I have used thousands of words talking about gratitude, helping business people understand its importance to morale and, ultimately, profitability. But I have learned that there is something more important and more profound than gratitude, and that is recognition.

To recognize that another person exists in your world is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. In today’s overworked, hyper-connected world, authentic recognition is woefully absent. Plaques and Facebook posts and end-of-year bonuses are wonderful, but they are superficial, mere tokens of authentic recognition.

Truly seeing another human is easier than you might think. It’s as simple as stopping what you’re doing to look up and make eye contact at the person in your presence. It’s asking someone how they’re doing and then listening to the answer: offering congratulations, help, laughter, or maybe just a nod, but acknowledging that you see him or her. It is including someone who has approached your group in your conversation. It is taking a breath before you respond to a request or hit “send”. There are hundreds of other examples, but essentially, it is nothing more or less than opening your eyes to see another human being fully.

I wonder who among us has not experienced the pain of not being seen. I’m betting a lack of recognition has caused more than one disruption in your office, and maybe in your personal life. From a profitability perspective alone, seeing others – truly seeing them – has value. From a personal perspective, the rewards are incalculable.

I see you.

Business Development Training: Think Before You Spend

People in my line of work seem to think that growth strategies will be a focal point for professional services firms in the near future. Any effective growth strategy requires that at least some professionals know how to bring in clients. This involves education, whether you provide it internally or through a consultant.

Either way, it is prudent to analyze your motives for spending money and time on training or coaching. Ask your partner group the following:

1. Does your culture support consistent, long-range marketing and business development learning and efforts, as opposed to sporadic and reactive demands from individual partners?
2. If so, how?
3. If not, what are you and your partners willing to change?
4. What, exactly, will be your carrot and stick approach when it comes to business development efforts and results?
5. Will business development efforts or results affect compensation?  HINT: If business development does not at some point affect compensation, training is a waste of resources.
6. How will you handle the inevitable question: “Hmmm. Peter Partner seems to be doing fine here, and he doesn’t develop business. Why should I?”
7. How will the firm create a system of accountability for the time and expenses that go with increased business development efforts?
8. What does a successful outcome for a training or coaching program look like to you and your partners?

Finally, be sure your firm’s growth strategy is in place and known by every team member. Spending money and time to teach anyone to develop business when there is no carefully crafted or well communicated plan for the firm’s future is like shaving with a dull razor blade: often painful and rarely effective. The crucial difference, of course, is that razor blades are a whole lot cheaper.

Strategic Questions for Strategic Planning

If they aren’t planned and facilitated effectively, strategic planning meetings can easily become one or all of the following:

• Snooze fests
• A game of Liar’s Poker
• Boxing matches
• Coffee klatches

Not one of these is worth your time or money. To base your strategy session on substance and get started on a real plan, be sure you gather the following data from your partners:

• Do you want more of a specific type of work?
• Do you want stronger people to do the work?
• Do you want to rid yourselves of certain clients? Can you afford to?
• Are you content with the money you make?
• Do you want to work more or less?
• Will your current managing partner remain in that position for the foreseeable future?  Has a successor been named or even considered?

It’s critical to find out what the firm’s owners want, and then determine how those desires intersect with marketplace and operational realities. This isn’t all you need to do to chart your firm’s course, but if everyone can agree on the answers to the questions above, you’re on the right road.

Choose Discomfort

• A senior level person in your company comes to work grumpy as a crocodile one day and perfectly pleasant the next, dealing with co-workers according to his mood.
• One of your employees has trouble understanding that personal calls are just that: personal. She’s on the phone in her cubicle several times a day, sharing the details of last night’s date. Everyone within earshot gets to know, too.
• Your best business developer pitches a scathing fit in his secretary’s cubicle when things don’t go as planned.

Lucky you. As the owner of a business, you have the challenge of deciding whether and how to respond to situations like these. And they happen every day. Each situation is different; each requires its own thoughtful response. It also requires a willingness to enter into a potentially uncomfortable conversation.

It’s interesting that most business owners feel fully capable of dealing with the technicalities of running their enterprises. The internal issues, however, cause plenty of stress. Owners know through experience how costly internal drama can be, both in terms of short-term productivity and longer-term morale and turnover. Ultimately, though, business owners are just like everybody else: they avoid conflict because it’s uncomfortable. They sit on their hands and hope the situation will resolve itself.

Rarely do conflicts like these resolve themselves. In fact, it’s likely that the perpetrators don’t even realize they’re doing something wrong. Why? Because no one tells them. Sure, they might receive one of those useless emails that tries to correct everyone’s behavior while achieving nothing at all (except perhaps to irritate those who aren’t misbehaving). And they might hear something about their general attitude in an annual evaluation, if their supervisor remembers to mention it. But they don’t receive the most useful thing of all: a one on one conversation that clarifies the immediate issue and seeks a resolution. They don’t receive it because you, the business owner, don’t want to be uncomfortable.

It is well worth your discomfort to confront difficult internal issues. By having what may be an awkward conversation with an employee or partner, you help the other person become aware of his or her behavior and offer an opportunity to change it. Valuing your own comfort over clear communication and prompt action creates backlash: your challenging employees continue their inappropriate behavior, because they are unaware; productivity decreases because everyone else is dealing with the challenging employee except you; and morale drops when your best employees see that bad behavior is unacknowledged and sometimes even unintentionally rewarded when you do nothing.

The next time an internal issue arises, take a deep breath. Then have a face-to-face conversation with the employee about your expectations and how they’re not being met in a particular situation. Be specific. Make it clear that you want improved behavior and ask for their cooperation.  Tell them how much you value their good work and that you want to see them focus on doing more of it. Find a way to leave the conversation on a positive note.

Though your palms may sweat and your heart rate may increase in the knowledge that you have a situation to deal with, deal with it anyway -- sooner rather than later. It’s the best way to change things for the better.

We Need a New Clause in the Social Contract

The latest display of rage (in this case, a fed-up flight attendant) ought to stop us all in our tracks. The picture of a you-have-tap-danced-on-my-last-nerve flight attendant hurling invective over the PA system at yet another rude (not to mention uncomfortable, cramped, stressed) passenger, then escaping via the emergency evacuation chute is kind of funny. I’m sure it will be fodder for the joke writers at every late night talk show.

While it’s easy to smirk, we need to think beyond this single incident and consider that it’s only one of many acts of rudeness and incivility that occur every day. Life is more stressful, more crowded, more noisy than it was even ten years ago. Put a lousy economy on top of that, and you have a recipe for rudeness and, as Mary J. Blige so aptly describes it, hateration.

All this hateration causes pain. It hurts the person who reacts to rudeness with rudeness and it taints everyone who has to witness it. Hateration benefits no one, not even the hater. So what’s a society to do?

Instead of instituting a Politeness Police, let’s simply agree to monitor our own behavior. Let’s insert a clause into our individual social contracts that clearly defines how we will conduct ourselves – not just when things are going well, but when we’re thrust into stressful situations rife with potential rudeness and conflict.

Let’s choose civility. Let’s choose kindness. Let’s take the high road, shall we? Because the low road is awfully crowded.

Managing Millennials (and Everyone Else) in the Moment

Brittany, a twenty-something employee, received her annual evaluation. She got a pretty good review from her boss, along with a nice raise (at least in the boss' opinion).

How did Brittany react? She was disappointed at the meager raise. She felt sure she was going to get not only more money, but a promotion, and was angry when she didn’t. Brittany did not believe the boss understood her contribution to the company, so she voiced her concerns to the Big Boss (and, I suspect, to anyone inside or outside the company who would listen). Brittany left the clear impression that she would seek opportunities elsewhere if her concerns were not dealt with.

Sound familiar? It does to me. I’ve heard this from more than one client, and the scenario is increasing as the Millennial generation advances in the workplace. This group is the most confident, the most vocal, and the most open of any generation, and many Boomers aren’t coping particularly well.

Millennials are teaching us very important things about management. Here are a few suggestions, based on my own totally non-scientific research.

1. Abolish the annual or biannual employee evaluation as your primary evaluation tool. This generation has made it completely clear they want rapid feedback. Give it to them. The time you spend in providing rapid feedback (which doesn’t have to be huge) will be more than made up by the decreased drama that comes from clear, consistent communication.

2. Debrief after every major project. First, ask your Brittanys how they think they did. Then let them know what you thought of their performance. That simple sequence and interchange will give you the basis for a truly productive conversation. It is during these conversations that employees learn what it takes to get to the next level – and they’re all interested in progressing.

3. Don’t sugarcoat your information. It’s tempting to go easy on this very privileged generation, but studies tell us that they appreciate straightforwardness. Boomers often tap dance around difficult conversations. Millennials are more likely to speak plainly, and to respond better to straight talk.

4. Connect with your employees through the work itself, not through your HR and compensation processes. Have your mind and your eye on the people who work for you. Correct, teach, and praise in the moment. Feedback is needed now, not six months or a year from the moment.

5. Assume your employees will leave you. I don’t know a single Millennial who plans to stay at his or her company indefinitely. The employment picture has changed forever in this regard. Understanding and accepting this will allow you to work in the moment, focusing on what really matters.

These five suggestions apply equally well to workers from every generation. Do you remember how many times you walked out of your own evaluation when you were an employee thinking “What a load of ****?” This new generation is different in their willingness to vocalize previously unspoken thoughts.

No doubt about it: Millennials are creating all kinds of discomfort and irritation in the workplace. However, given the rates of divorce, alcoholism, obesity and drug addiction among Boomers, I wonder if the Millennial approach — for all its grandiosity and self-promotion — might be a healthier alternative.

Ten Things to Be Happy About

It’s July. Hot, sweltering, and dusty (at least in New Mexico). We’re between Independence Day and Labor Day: a long time before any freebie days off. Our jobs are stressful, our lives drive us crazy. What on earth could there possibly be to be happy about?

Glad you asked.

1. At least for today, the oil spill has stopped leaking its toxins into the beautiful gulf.

2. Our pets will always be happy to see us, no matter how rough our day has been.

3. We are not yet through this recession, but we have soldiered on in spite of it.

4. We have strong minds and mostly useful bodies.

5. We have air conditioning.

6. Even if we don’t like our jobs, we’re putting food on our tables with the money we earn.

7. We’re capable of learning from our mistakes if we choose to.

8. Some of our professional relationships give us a reason to get up and go to work each day.

9. Things are changing every minute. We cannot know what wonderful event is around the corner, but we can choose to believe it is there.

10. Someone, somewhere loves every one of us.

These are just ten things from the top of my head. I’ll bet you can come up with at least ten things of your own. And I guarantee you’ll feel better for the effort.

Civility As a Tactic

Recently I had a couple of phone conversations that started like a race horse leaving the gate. No “Hi, how are you?”. No “What’s new?”. No “Is this a good time?”. Just an immediate recitation of needs or events. What kind of response do you think the callers received? Right. I was something less than involved, because I hadn’t really been invited to be.

Civility as a daily life choice is an optimal existence. It is also an effective communication tactic. Conversational civility is so much more than small talk; it is a roadmap you can use to help you reach your desired destination. Without it, you might very well lose your way in the conversation, because half of the conversation is essentially missing. And when you lose your way, the chances decrease that you will get what you want or need from the conversation.

On the flip side, employing civility in your conversations contributes to the possibility that you will achieve your goal, whether it’s information, affirmation, or simply a lightening of your burdens. My husband always says “You never know what someone else is going through.” He counsels to communicate accordingly, and he’s right. Asking those little, seemingly perfunctory questions, is essential to getting a read on the other person’s receptivity to you at that moment.

This is civilized behavior, but it’s also tactically intelligent. If you want something from another person, even if it’s only a friendly ear, you are smart to ask small questions. By doing that, you invite the other person to be involved and thereby increase your chances of having a productive conversation.

Creating A Singular Service Experience

The older I get, the more I realize I’m not all that unique. The services I offer — communications training, strategic planning facilitation, motivational speaking — are provided by competent people across the globe. I’m not the only one who does this work. I’ll bet whatever you do isn’t so unusual, either. If we’re providing services and products similar to those of our competitors, how can we differentiate?

There’s really only one way: make your customers feel something about you. Not your product or process, not your price, not your fancy building. YOU. If you want more clients, make working with you a truly singular experience. Six basic principles apply.

Recently I went to an “eco-urban lifestyle market” in Albuquerque, New Mexico for a facial. I was a new client. From the first telephone conversation with Andre, I was completely and utterly delighted. Within 30 seconds, he and I were like old friends. (Principle #1: use your voice and words to make clients feel comfortable quickly). I looked forward to meeting him in person. This is definitely not how most of us feel when booking an appointment anywhere.

Andre was expecting me when I arrived (Principle #2: be ready for your clients, not surprised by them). He knew who I was without my telling him and said “Hello, Melinda! We’re so glad you’re here!”. He was genuinely warm and welcoming. (Principle #3: Express your gratitude and joy to customers). Before I could sit down, Andre had poured me a glass of tea, telling me all the while how terrific I was about to feel and what a fantastic facial I would receive from Kevin. (Principle #4: shine a spotlight on your co-workers’ abilities).

Needless to say, the facial itself was terrific, as I expected it to be. (Principle #5: customers always expect your service or product to be good, so your technical skill will rarely be a differentiator). However, I’ve never before felt as special and welcome as this team made me feel. It was impossible to imagine that they had other clients, because they looked right at me and said “We do all of this just for you.” (Principle #6: make every customer feel as though they’re your only one).

As you can imagine, they do have other clients. Plenty of them. It’s likely they say something similar to every single one. Does that make them less than genuine? No. They love their work and truly enjoy their clients. It’s obvious. It’s authentic. It’s singular.

Take a few minutes to look around your business and reflect a bit. Then take a look in the mirror and consider the six principles above.

What are you and your team doing to give your customers a singular experience? What are you doing to make them feel something about you? Whatever you do, make sure your actions and interactions come right from the heart. When they do, know that your competitors who create only neutrality with their customers will have a really tough time catching up to you.

If you want to read more articles on culture and behavior, please click here.

Five Steps Up the Corporate Ladder

With the economy still in the doldrums, those of you who have jobs are among the fortunate. Here are five steps you can take to keep your job and thrive, wherever you are professionally.

1. Know your company’s power structure. Find out as quickly as you can who’s who and what’s what in your firm. Determine very quickly who’s in your corner and who wants you to disappear. Do everything you can to work on projects with those who support you.

2. Get face to face with the organization’s leadership as often as you can. You’ll probably have to initiate the effort on this one. Only by having individual relationships with leaders (and as many other team members as possible) will you build a base of support. People do business with people they like and trust; it’s no different between you and your company. So get out from behind your desk and go talk to people.

3. Develop a succinct response to two questions: What do you do here? What are you working on? You need to be able to describe your role, your current activities and how they contribute to the company’s success.

4. Communicate more clearly than anyone else, and don’t be afraid to ask the same of others. Many people aren’t skilled communicators, so you have to take that responsibility. For example, have you ever been hit with something to be done “ASAP”? Ask the ASAP people to give you a specific time and day when they need the project. They won’t fire you because you asked for a deadline; they’ll know when to expect the work, and you’ll be able to set priorities.

5. Keep everything in perspective and laugh often. Life can be pretty funny when you step back and take a look at it. So laugh a lot. You’ll like your life better, other people will enjoy your company, and you’ll be more successful in the long run.

The Truest Way to Build Your Credibility

How many promises have you made that you haven’t kept? How many times have you let yourself off the hook?

Every time you commit to an action and do not act, you lose credibility. Every time you end a conversation with “I’ll call you next week for lunch” and you don’t call, you lose credibility. Every time you agree to champion a task for your company and you drop the ball, you lose credibility.

The consequences of lost credibility are significant at both an individual and an organizational level. Humans are generalizers by nature; I’m convinced it goes back to our cave man days. Each time one of your employees or partners makes a promise to do something and fails to deliver, it’s not just that person whose credibility suffers. By extension, your organization also runs a risk of losing credibility.

This problem can seem insurmountable, but it isn’t. You can improve your credibility and, by extension, your company’s, by changing your own behavior. Now that I think about it, any change you want must begin with you (Gandhi said as much, more eloquently).

You can start today. Just for today, keep whatever commitments you made. If you vowed to exercise and eat right, do it. Just for today. If you promised Mary in accounting that you would have your expense reports done by close of business today, do it. Just this once. See how it feels at the end of the day to have lived credibly.

Build on small achievements until you are consistently credible, both in the commitments you make to yourself and those you make to others. Don’t get crazy and try to change everything at once. Start small. Meet a commitment every day. Pat yourself on the back when you do. Kick yourself in the behind when you don’t. Rectify your lapse immediately.

Then, and only then, can you ask others in your organization (or in your personal life, for that matter) to keep their commitments.

Annual Employee Reviews: So 20th Century

Remember when correspondence took a couple of weeks? Now it happens in seconds. Remember the glory days of printed newsletters: the writing, the printing, the stuffing, the stamping, the mailing? Pretty much gone. And how about returning phone calls “as soon as possible”? Now, it’s within a specific number of hours (if you’re savvy).

Yet companies that practice business at 21^st century speed are still doing annual employee evaluations. You really have to wonder why. The data on young employees show that their strong preference is to receive regular and rapid feedback on their performance. So why are managers waiting a year? How is this a good business practice?

The Millenials have it right on this issue: annual emploee reviews are worthless. Baby Boomers like me can tell war stories all day about enduring employee evaluations from both sides of the desk. As employees, here’s what we were thinking during the evaluations:

1. I hate this.

2. Why didn’t my supervisor tell me I screwed up on that project six months ago?

3. I wonder if that mistake is going to cost me a raise.

4. How much raise will I get, anyway?

5. I hate this.

As managers and executives, here’s our thought process:

1. I hate this.

2. I can’t remember anything this employee did all year.

3. This evaluation form is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. How can I assign a number to someone’s work for a whole year? Should I use decimals?

4. What if I give him a bad evaluation? Will he quit?

5. Seriously. I’m going to speak to our HR director as soon as this evaluation is over.

6. I hate this.

None of this is productive. It’s a much better use of time to evaluate employees by project or task. Debrief after every major effort. Tell the employee straight up what you think they did well and what might have gone better. And if you’re really brave (and, again, savvy), you’ll ask them what they think of your performance. Then, together, line up your mutual expectations for the next project.

If you think you don’t have time to evaluate employees after a project or task, think how much time it takes to recruit, hire, and train a new one after the old one quits because she wasn’t getting the right feedback at the right time.

We're Not Crazy After All

Affirmation is a wonderful thing. The 5/28/10 edition of the New York Times, in which Stephen Sadove, chairman and CEO of Saks Inc. (yes, the Saks), is interviewed, did just that for all of us who understand that culture is the foundation of business success.

Mr. Sadove cites the need to build relationships with a diverse set of people as a guiding principle in his philosophy of running Saks. Further, he says he now spends more time working on people issues than on any other part of the business. He says: “I tend to care a lot about the people and the relationships that they have, how the team is operating, the culture.”

CEOs, leaders, and managers, ask yourselves: How much time am I working on the business (cultural and other non-billable matters) rather than in the business (billable work)?

Sadove says: “Culture drives innovation and whatever else you’re trying to drive within a company — innovation, execution, whatever it’s going to be. And that then drives results.” He notes that Wall Street never asks him about the culture of Saks, about leadership, about the ideas that drive the numbers and the results. He’s working hard to teach people that, while numbers are certainly important, they’re not the critical success factor. Only culture serves that role over the long term.

Now, ask yourselves another question: What do I spend most of the time discussing with my partners and colleagues: quarterly revenue or corporate culture?

When asked about Saks’ hiring practices, Sadove stays with the cultural theme when he says”…you want somebody who has the intellectual capacity, strategic thinking and the skill sets. But I’m looking for a cultural fit with me. How collaborative are they? How inclusive are they? How willing are they to listen to lots of different points of view? Do they have diverse interests?”

And one more time, ask yourselves a question: “Which is more important in hiring: grade point average or attitude?”

It’s by asking questions like these – and acting on the answers – that sucessful corporate cultures are created.

Customer Service Is All About Your Employees

Steve Wynn, owner of Wynn Resorts in Las Vegas, knows a little something about customer service. I know, because whenever I go to Vegas, I stay at the Wynn. I stay there mostly because of the terrific customer service the hotel offers. From the moment I step inside the lobby to the moment the doorman helps me into a cab to the airport, my experience is sheer perfection.

It’s taken me several visits to the Wynn to figure out an important aspect of great customer service. But first, the obvious:

1. Great customer service costs money. You can’t give great service if you’ve cut into the muscle of your organization. In the Wynn’s case, you have to have enough people polishing the marble, vacuuming the carpet, and changing the flowers every morning, or the entire environment will suffer.
2. Great service requires training. You have to teach employees to smile, look customers in the eye, and respond promptly to requests. Wynn’s got that training down to a science.
3. Great service has to be recognized and rewarded. This, of course, is the case with any behavior you want to encourage.

But Wynn demonstrates a third element, and it’s both less obvious and more magical than the first two. Wynn’s stellar service is a function of authenticity, where employees willingly and without inducement say great things about where they work. Wynn employees talk openly about how much they appreciate Steve Wynn’s efforts to negotiate a tough economy without laying people off. They say how great he is work for. They say it’s a privilege to be employed by Wynn Resorts.

At least from this outsider’s perspective, it looks like Steve Wynn is working hard every day to give his employees the respect, dignity, and optimism they deserve. It’s just not possible to script the positive comments they make. Clearly, they are speaking from the heart.

If you want delighted customers, make sure you have delighted employees.

Emotional Solutions

New York Times columnist David Brooks sparked interesting thoughts this week. In his May 25 column, he says:

“People are born with natural desires to be admired and to be worthy of admiration. They are born with moral emotions, a sense of fair play and benevolence. They are also born with darker passions, like self-love and tribalism, which mar rationalist enterprises. We are emotional creatures first and foremost, and politics should not forget that.”

In the last sentence above, we could easily substitute “business” for “politics”. It would still be true. We are emotional creatures first and foremost, and business must not forget that. When things aren’t going right internally, look first at the emotions involved. Very likely, that’s where the problem lies. And very likely, if you address the emotions, you will find the solution.

When in Doubt, Pick Up the Phone

Email is easy and fast. It’s also incomplete and leaves room for plenty of unanswered questions and misunderstanding. A couple of times recently, I’ve experienced the conflict that goes with deciding how to follow up with people.

In one instance, I had submitted an application to a speaker’s bureau. Weeks later, I had heard nothing from them. After a short, typical conversation in my head about not being good enough to belong to this bureau, I decided to end the masochism and pick up the phone. As it turned out, the president of the company had begun the review process of my application, but had not yet completed it. Our conversation was upbeat and encouraging, and so very simple.

Another time, I was struggling with content for an upcoming presentation on leadership and management for lawyers. When I realized I would not be the best choice to address certain aspects of management because I have never run a law firm, I faced the same method-of-contact dilemma. Email surely would have been easier. I could have backed out of the session gracefully and left the relationship intact. But I really wanted to address the leadership issue in law firms, so I picked up the phone and had a conversation with my contact. In the course of the conversation, we realized the conference attendees would benefit from a team teaching format that involved a managing partner and me working together. Our conversation created a better program that would not have been possible by email.

No doubt: it’s much easier to send an email than to have to deal with a conversation. But it’s in those very conversations – those dialogues – that some of our best outcomes can occur.

Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do

For those of you who immediately recalled the Neil Sedaka song when you read the title of this post, I am truly sorry. It’s just the best way to frame a conversation about firing clients.

Such a heavy word, firing. I prefer to think of it as moving on, acting in everyone’s best interests, similar to ending a personal relationship. Who hasn’t heard “It’s not you, it’s me” at some point? Personally or professionally, it seems, the sentiment is applicable.

However you choose to phrase it, moving away from a client relationship is scary, gut-wrenching work. Who in her right mind would risk walking away from steady (although not lucrative), known (although not challenging), comfortable (although not inspiring) work — particularly in times like these?

If a particular client’s face pops into your head as you read this, here are some of the questions to ask yourself:

1. Is the client best served by your working at a level below your capabilities?
2. Are you willing to continue working at a level that does not challenge you?
3. How is your decreasing passion for the work affecting your client’s interests?
4. How is your client’s behavior affecting you and your team?
5. Are you willing to wait it out in the hope that things will magically improve?
6. Would a conversation with your client change anything?
7. What opportunities are you missing by pouring energy into this client?

Putting yourself through a questioning exercise like this one is useful, whether you are determined to leave your client or are trying to find reasons to stay. Asking hard questions brings clarity to your thought process, removing some of the more emotional (and less useful) noise in your head. Finally, it helps move you closer to answering an important question:

What makes you happy?

Soft Skills Aren't Soft.

Every time I read something about communication, leadership, mentoring and the like, the words “soft skills” are nearly always used as descriptors. That chaps me, because in our business culture soft is often a euphemism for weak.. Bottom lines, net revenues, profitability: these are hard and, therefore, strong initiatives. Relationship building, listening, mentoring, teaching: soft and wrongly perceived as weak.

Think about it. How often is someone in a company publicly rewarded for civility? For kindness? Contagious happiness? It’s woefully rare. Yet it is these things that determine the culture and, at least in part, the long-term success of an organization.

I wonder if we could come up with something other than soft skills to describe these critical individual and organizational traits. Maybe it’s Quality of Life Skills, but that’s a tad wordy. I’m open to suggestion, but let’s not call them soft anymore. These emotionally intelligent traits are the foundation of a strong, successful organizational culture. Soft (weak) just isn’t what we’re shooting for.

The Secret of a Successful Merger

Companies merge for lots of reasons: expertise, market share, compatible pricing structure, geographic expansion are among them. Seldom are the equally crucial internal factors given as much consideration as these external issues. In my career as a marketing director for a CPA firm, I endured one very significant merger and a few smaller ones. The significant merger was with another CPA firm, a large, old and well respected outfit with strong, old-school leadership. The firm I was with was the smaller, entrepreneurial, growing group with a flexible and inclusive managing partner.

Those of us on both sides of the merger leadership team worked diligently and creatively to get policies and procedures straight, develop strategies and missions, and communicate developments to everyone in the newly merged firm .

It didn’t work. Why? Because the people working in the older and larger firm were excellent employees who did what they were told and did it extremely well. They marched in lockstep to the leadership’s music. The people from the younger, more entrepreneurial group were also excellent members of a team that was rewarded for initiative, creative thinking, and participation in decision making.

Neither group was wrong or any less accomplished than the other. But our habits were firmly entrenched by the time of the merger. In fact, the managing partner (who came from the smaller firm) resigned his position and went out on his own. So did most of the senior team members from the smaller firm. Those of us who had been encouraged to question could no more march to the leadership’s tune than the folks from the other side could have dared to question that tune.

If your group is considering a merger, I strongly encourage you to think clearly, deliberately, and without illusions about cultural alignment. Listen. Are your individual tunes playing in the same key?

Blackberry Fantasies

There’s nothing like a few days out of town to invigorate thinking and observation. In my case, watching people in Las Vegas got my brain going about connections. From conference attendees to tourists to off-duty employees, it seemed as though everyone had their heads bowed over their Blackberries. Some were walking, some leaning against the walls of the resort, some standing in the middle of the corridor. All appeared to be completely oblivious to their surroundings.

I have to wonder if this is a good thing. As a business person, I understand the importance of being connected. As a human being, however, I also understand the value of being where I am, rather than in cyberspace. I know this for sure: when you’re connected 24/7, you’re missing beauty, humanity, and real life.

Surely there is a middle path we can walk.

Imagination

Recently, a managing partner asked me if I facilitate meetings. I told him I did, with one exception: I won’t facilitate partner meetings anymore. When he asked why, I said “Because it’s painful and useless to watch partners sit around and lie to each other.” His response: “You’re right. We absolutely DO lie to each other. But can you imagine what would happen if we all told the truth?”

Well, yes I can. The conference room would be an ugly sight at first. But let’s think what might happen if everyone agreed to tell the truth. Imagine if partners really trusted and liked each other. Imagine if they even knew each other on some level other than the professional. Imagine if they had the communication skills and the courage to disagree openly and with civility. Imagine if they trusted each other enough to allow one of them to lead the others with a clear-cut strategy. It’s entirely possible that putting all the skunks on the table might just be the beginning of a new way of doing things.

It’s worth imagining these scenarios. It’s worth working for. And if there’s a company out there that wants to try to make imagination real, I’d change my mind about facilitating partner meetings.