Apr 30, 2010

Blackberry Fantasies

There’s nothing like a few days out of town to invigorate thinking and observation. In my case, watching people in Las Vegas got my brain going about connections. From conference attendees to tourists to off-duty employees, it seemed as though everyone had their heads bowed over their Blackberries. Some were walking, some leaning against the walls of the resort, some standing in the middle of the corridor. All appeared to be completely oblivious to their surroundings.

I have to wonder if this is a good thing. As a business person, I understand the importance of being connected. As a human being, however, I also understand the value of being where I am, rather than in cyberspace. I know this for sure: when you’re connected 24/7, you’re missing beauty, humanity, and real life.

Surely there is a middle path we can walk.

Apr 20, 2010

Imagination

Recently, a managing partner asked me if I facilitate meetings. I told him I did, with one exception: I won’t facilitate partner meetings anymore. When he asked why, I said “Because it’s painful and useless to watch partners sit around and lie to each other.” His response: “You’re right. We absolutely DO lie to each other. But can you imagine what would happen if we all told the truth?”

Well, yes I can. The conference room would be an ugly sight at first. But let’s think what might happen if everyone agreed to tell the truth. Imagine if partners really trusted and liked each other. Imagine if they even knew each other on some level other than the professional. Imagine if they had the communication skills and the courage to disagree openly and with civility. Imagine if they trusted each other enough to allow one of them to lead the others with a clear-cut strategy. It’s entirely possible that putting all the skunks on the table might just be the beginning of a new way of doing things.

It’s worth imagining these scenarios. It’s worth working for. And if there’s a company out there that wants to try to make imagination real, I’d change my mind about facilitating partner meetings.

Apr 7, 2010

Emails: Lighten Up

Recently I actually took my own advice and was astounded at how wise I can be.

I was involved in an e-discussion with a client when he expressed an opinion that wasn’t in line with my thinking. In true Melinda rapid-fire fashion, I hit “reply” and began my email with “I disagree.” Then I went on to say why, and posed a very good argument.

There was just one thing: I would have lost my client’s attention at “I disagree.” He might have thought, “Hmmph. She disagrees. Mouthy woman. She’s just being disagreeable.” His defenses would have been up and he would have been distracted even before getting to my dissertation.

I disagree. Those two little words are too strong for most email discussions — at least if you’re interested in maintaining a good relationship with your recipients. We all know email messages lack critical qualities of face to face conversations: facial expression, tone of voice, body language, all of it. You might not feel as strongly about something as you seem to when you are curt or harsh in writing.

For once in my life, I didn’t hit the “send” button too quickly. I re-read my message, sat back and looked at it for a bit, and then deleted those two little words. Instead, I softened my stance with a simple “I see things differently”, then posed my cogent argument. My client still didn’t do what I wanted him to do, but at least he heard what I had to say. Sometimes that’s as good as it gets.