Being Good

We have now migrated from the Season of Thanks to the Season of Be Good or Else. Be good or Santa won't visit you. Be good or you'll get coal in your stocking. I find these exhortations about goodness to be a bit tricky, don't you? When we take the concept of goodness from the personal into the professional realm, it gets even trickier.

Following is how I perceive being good at work. Maybe it will get you thinking more specifically about goodness and how it applies in your professional life.

• Our technical expertise is a given. If we want to be good at work, we need to think more broadly.
• Goodness is in the eye of the beholder. We need to understand how other people perceive us before we can begin to demonstrate goodness. We can do that by asking those we trust to tell us what they think about our conduct.
• Being good need not be difficult or high-falutin'. It may be as simple as slowing down our mental processes long enough to have a civilized interaction with a co-worker. It may mean removing our ear buds when someone is trying to talk to us, or not taking a call at that moment. Good behavior in a work environment means taking into consideration that we are in the environment with others and we owe them courtesy and respect. Any and all simple acts that show courtesy and respect are welcome contributors to goodness in the workplace.
• Goodness feels good. Most of us know when we are behaving well and when we're not. The two actions feel completely different. One leaves us and those around us energized, while the other depletes us and those around us.
• Good behavior serves our self interests. We enjoy feeling good more than feeling bad. We generally get better feedback when we're good, which can mean more clients, more interesting work, and more financial reward.
• Goodness is contagious. I know when I am treated to someone else's good behavior, I am inclined to behave better myself. Their goodness seems to fill my good behavior tank, allowing me to demonstrate the same to others.
• One final thing I have figured out: there are few angels among us who are good all the time. Everyone, especially in stressful times like these, has moments that are less than shining. Maybe part of being good at work is giving our colleagues a break when they have one of those less-than-shiny moments.

My wish for all of us this season is that we each give and receive the gift of goodness.

Happy holidays, everyone.

Risking Gratitude

T’is the season to be thankful. Most people I know are relatively good at expressing gratitude for their own lives, health, families and such. Even those who have had a very difficult year somehow manage to understand their great good fortune in the larger scheme of things.

Most of us, though, aren’t very good at expressing gratitude to others. My clients are usually professional, often male, and frequently members of the Baby Boom generation. These clients run successful law firms, accounting firms, associations, and companies. They shoulder great burden and reap great reward.  They share their successes with team members and sometimes inspire people to do better. They’re often masterful writers of emails that thank the firm or groups within the firm.

But when it comes to giving personal, eye-to-eye thanks, they clam up. It’s not in their training or nature to look directly at someone in a quiet moment and express their genuine, heart-felt gratitude to another person. My clients feel it, I am certain; but expressing it is just so difficult for them. There can be no question that this represents a lost opportunity to do better and to feel better.

So, for those of you who carry great appreciation in your minds and hearts, I offer this: risk exposing your emotions for the short time it takes to look one person in the eye, to say thank you, and to tell that great team member how much he or she means to you and to your organization. Don’t worry about how smoothly the words come out or whether you blush. Just do it. Your employees and partners will see you at your very best: opened, maybe a little humbled, and filled with gratitude. And you, in turn, will see them at their best: opened, maybe a little humbled, and filled with gratitude.

I could go on at length about what such an act does for an organization’s culture and profitability, but I think you already know.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. As always, thank you for reading.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Recently I spoke at an international conference of CPAs and lawyers. The subject of one of the sessions was leadership. During the session, I discussed Emotional Pigpens -- people who either do not know or do not care how their behavior affects others. They create plenty of negative energy and can drain organizational vitality.

I’m accustomed to answering questions about how to deal with Emotional Pigpens, such as “I have the worst partner ever. He’s constantly demeaning, he’s an emotional vampire. How do I deal with him?” At this conference, however, I experienced something new. After my session, one of the participants came up to me and said “I’m one of those people you talked about. How do I fix the mess I’ve made?”

First of all, bless this man for waking up. I don’t know whether he realized it only when I described Emotional Pigpens, or whether he’d always known it. It doesn’t matter. The important thing is, he became aware of his behavior and its effect on those around him. He wanted to stop being an emotional pigpen and he wanted help.

So, how was he to make amends, he asked. I suggested he do it both individually and collectively, acknowledging that his behavior had been less than optimal, apologizing for that behavior, and promising to do better. I’ve had a few days since then to think more about it; perhaps the following might help him and those of you who find yourself in his position.

1. Know who needs an apology from you. If it’s not apparent to you, ask your closest confidant. He or she will know.
2. Look right into their eyes when you say you’re sorry. You don’t have to be eloquent, and you need not explain the issues that caused your misbehavior if it invades your privacy. Just say, “I’ve been awful lately, and I’m sorry. I will do better, and if I don’t do better, I want to hear from you.” Mean what you say and your listeners will feel it.
3.   Most people with whom you try to make amends are likely to accept your apology. Take comfort in that. Those who do not, or who remain skeptical, have their own timetables for such things. Let them work it out. You have done your part.
4.  Once you have apologized, and you begin to change your behavior, let yourself off the hook. Learn from your mistake and leave it behind. Don’t relive it. Move on so those around you can do the same.
5.  Be thankful that you have the courage to realize your mistake, the fortitude to make amends, and the good fortune to be forgiven.

I am grateful to the self-admitted Emotional Pigpen who came forward. Learning to say we’re sorry is not easy, but making mistakes that affect others is part of being human. Apologizing for those mistakes makes us better humans.

Is Google's Problem Your Problem?

According to an article in yesterday’s New York Times, Facebook’s “closed social network” is steadily and noticeably encroaching on Google’s territory. As a result,  “Google risks losing the competition for Web users’ time, details of their lives and, ultimately, advertising.” (Really, did you think it wouldn’t come down to money?)

Google has been and continues to be the leader in writing algorithms for internet searches.  Trouble is, the algorithms don’t work so well in social networking, because they can’t determine how humans actually make decisions or interact socially. In other words, you really can’t plug human nature into a formula.

Creating algorithms for social interaction is, in one form or another, what many businesses are trying to do. They’re having just about as much success at it as Google. Money, time, and effort are consistently spent on strategic plans that are never fully executed, business development programs that may or may not be completed or acted on, and retention tactics that often miss the mark.

These efforts fail because often they don’t consider how the humans affected will react – or, more likely, not react. A small core of people creates something that looks terrific on paper, only to have it largely ignored by the rest of the people in the organization. We humans decide mostly with our emotions: pleasure, fear, acceptance, loyalty, happiness.

Google is learning that it is difficult, if not impossible, to reduce human behavior to reliable, predicable statistics. As business owners and leaders, we can learn from Google’s travails. We can create better programs for retention, business development and just about everything else when we remember to include those whose participation is crucial to the program’s success.

We can lead our organizations more effectively when we remember that our team members are not parts of a formula, but individuals whose decision making process is a complex blend of rational, emotional, and social elements.

Five Ways to Fortify Your Culture

If a recent survey by Adecco Group is accurate, workers of all ages are beginning to explore job opportunities, with more than half of Millennial generation employees planning to look for different jobs as the economy begins to turn around. Now is a very good time for leaders to consider organizational culture as a retention tool.

With this post, I am assuming you have a strong and supportive culture but may not know how best to leverage it. Here are five ways:

1. Consistently articulate your culture. If you can do that, you can compellingly answer the question “Why should I stay here?” when your top employee asks. You can also incorporate your cultural message into marketing and recruiting collaterals, which creates consistency internally and externally.
2. Bring your personal values to work with you. Most of us view ourselves as decent, compassionate individuals who want everyone in our lives to do well and be happy. Remember that as you lead your team members – even those who challenge you – through the ups and downs of everyday business.
3. Hire for cultural fit above all else. When you know you have a great culture, keeping it great should be your top leadership priority. Hire for attitude instead of GPA, book of business, or community connections. Attitudes are absolutely viral. This works either to your organization’s benefit or detriment, depending on how you hire.
4. Reward behaviors that enhance the culture. Every day, if your culture is as good as you think it is, you’ll find someone demonstrating it. Open your eyes; when you see the real thing, reward the behavior with a simple thank you. Communicate what you know is true: that the individual exhibiting the right behavior is what makes your organization successful.
5. Get rid of those who clearly are a poor cultural fit. This seems to be the toughest thing for leaders. It often happens that the one or two bad seeds have some kind of perceived leverage on the organization. Maybe they’re great business developers. Maybe they’re excellent producers. But when they’re not making rain or crunching out billable time, they’re busy poisoning your culture. Many good people who represent your firm’s future will leave because of the poisonous minority.

I See You

That’s the line from Avatar, which I saw recently (and, yes, I’m something of a late adopter). I see you. I can’t get it out of my head because I think it has important implications for all of us who work with humans.

Regular readers and clients know I have used thousands of words talking about gratitude, helping business people understand its importance to morale and, ultimately, profitability. But I have learned that there is something more important and more profound than gratitude, and that is recognition.

To recognize that another person exists in your world is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. In today’s overworked, hyper-connected world, authentic recognition is woefully absent. Plaques and Facebook posts and end-of-year bonuses are wonderful, but they are superficial, mere tokens of authentic recognition.

Truly seeing another human is easier than you might think. It’s as simple as stopping what you’re doing to look up and make eye contact at the person in your presence. It’s asking someone how they’re doing and then listening to the answer: offering congratulations, help, laughter, or maybe just a nod, but acknowledging that you see him or her. It is including someone who has approached your group in your conversation. It is taking a breath before you respond to a request or hit “send”. There are hundreds of other examples, but essentially, it is nothing more or less than opening your eyes to see another human being fully.

I wonder who among us has not experienced the pain of not being seen. I’m betting a lack of recognition has caused more than one disruption in your office, and maybe in your personal life. From a profitability perspective alone, seeing others – truly seeing them – has value. From a personal perspective, the rewards are incalculable.

I see you.

Business Development Training: Think Before You Spend

People in my line of work seem to think that growth strategies will be a focal point for professional services firms in the near future. Any effective growth strategy requires that at least some professionals know how to bring in clients. This involves education, whether you provide it internally or through a consultant.

Either way, it is prudent to analyze your motives for spending money and time on training or coaching. Ask your partner group the following:

1. Does your culture support consistent, long-range marketing and business development learning and efforts, as opposed to sporadic and reactive demands from individual partners?
2. If so, how?
3. If not, what are you and your partners willing to change?
4. What, exactly, will be your carrot and stick approach when it comes to business development efforts and results?
5. Will business development efforts or results affect compensation?  HINT: If business development does not at some point affect compensation, training is a waste of resources.
6. How will you handle the inevitable question: “Hmmm. Peter Partner seems to be doing fine here, and he doesn’t develop business. Why should I?”
7. How will the firm create a system of accountability for the time and expenses that go with increased business development efforts?
8. What does a successful outcome for a training or coaching program look like to you and your partners?

Finally, be sure your firm’s growth strategy is in place and known by every team member. Spending money and time to teach anyone to develop business when there is no carefully crafted or well communicated plan for the firm’s future is like shaving with a dull razor blade: often painful and rarely effective. The crucial difference, of course, is that razor blades are a whole lot cheaper.